(8-365) The difference between perception and reality

A wise man once said "most of our relationships live only in memory."

When the mind is on automatic pilot,  it cannot tolerate the feeling of not knowing.   It takes what is known of a thing or a person and fills up the rest with personal opinion.  When those opinion are not questioned,  they are assumed to be facts, and that's where the whole problem of knowing fact from fiction arises.

I believe that I havent taken the time to get to know anyone.  I haven't reached out to people because of my own beliefs and assumptions of how people are.  Fear takes hold of my being and allow me to pretend that the reason I don't really get to know anyone probably is because It is not the right thing to do, or perhaps because I am waiting for a safe,  non-embarassing way to make my move.

It also has to do with self-aceptance.  When we meet new people,  we naturally talk about ourselves.  If we don't like who we are, getting to know people forces us to come face to face with an image of ourselves.  And sometimes, we are horrified by the thought of what we might see.

The way we present ourselves is by talking.  It is with the tool of language that people naturally make themselves known.  We basically create ourselves by talking.  When people don't talk to one another,  or when a person doesn't bother to ask questions,  he/she is confident that what he thinks he knows about the person or thing is pure fact, or simply, he is too lazy to find out.

Fear prevents people from moving forward.  Fear is born out of our need to avoid pain at all costs.  When we allow our minds to choose for us,  we live in a fantasy world where danger lurks at every corner and the best thing to do, is nothing.

Introducing yourself to a new person can be the best thing that can happen to you on that day.  But we don't do it because the act makes us feel uncomfortable.  In my line of work, I miss the opportunity of meeting someone new and making a connection EVERY SINGLE DAY.  I work at Saks fifth avenue selling shoes, and every day I am forced to interact with people that, most often than not, will only see once in my entire life.  I have an opportunity to meet and get to know a ton of people if I decide to stop complaining and really step out of my protective shell to explore what is around.

Most of our relationships live only in our memory.  We have a lot of people in our family among our close relatives that we have not yet get to know.   "So and so is my cousin"  But when was the last time you had a conversation with your cousin?  A real conversation?  When was the last time you had a conversation with your mom where you didn't just use one question involving a yes or not response?

The unvierse is for us and is open and ready at our disposal.   All we need to do is go out and explore it.  You and I, let us challenge our assumptions and allow ourselves for the first time to be surprised by what we'll find.

In other news:  

Today was my first day of going to the gym.  I am going to go to the gym 5 times a week from now on.  And  for the first time in my life,  I am eating greens for lunch and dinner.  I am also gradually lowering my intake of coffee and drinking green tea instead.  It's my second day, but it is one of those feelings that forces you to say "it's time!"  And I started.

Thanks for reading.