Today I was thinking about my photography business and the things that I needed to focus on so I could be on my way to achieving my goals in becoming a very successful photographer.
In thinking about my strengths and weakness, I came up with these:
Strengths:
1-The ability to speak English and Spanish.
2-Having a new canon slr full-frame sensor camera with 21 mp.
3-An excellent lens.
4-Adequate transportation.
5-Two portable flash units and two battery units, etc.
6-A very likable personality.
7-An excellent ability to photograph the perfect moment, an emotion, a sudden laughter, etc.
8-Kids like me.
Weaknesses: (what my competitors have that I don't)
1-Not having a studio space.
2-Not living close to where my desired customers live, which makes it inconvenient for them to visit me.
3-Not having the necessary equipment that most photographers have: An extra camera body, 3 professional lenses, 5 professional quality light strobes, etc.
4-Not having an assistant.
5-A disorganized photo library.
6-Not having an accounting software and a laptop to perform my daily necessary operations.
7-Not having a complete knowledge of the technical aspects of my most vital equipment: flash units, how they work, all the features of my new camera, etc.
8-Not taking advantage of the New York Institute of Photography by not finishing the course, not doing the homework, not contacting my assigned professor for vital questions, etc.
9-Not being an active member of a professional photography organization which could give me the opportunity of getting to know the people in my industry that could help me in getting my foot off the ground.
10-Not participating in any networking events.
11-A mountain of debt.
My focus should be in creating a plan to achieve all those points and marrying the plan. This gives a lot of things to think about.
I know I can succeed. I know I can become a professional photographer, get out of retail, get out of debt, complete my divorce to Olga, finish my photography classes, get fit, get my finances together, gain the respect of others, get closer to my family, start dating, fall in love, and enjoy life to the fullest. It's not impossible. All I have to do is to actively work with every level of my being so I can achieve each and every goal mentioned above. It's like going to the gym. If I don't exercise, I won't see results. If I sit around waiting for something to happen, waiting to be in a better mood so I can exercise, postponing the workouts for better days, my dreams of becoming fit will never materialize.
Today I started the gym again. I made the decision to completely disconnect myself from past lovers. Not because I hate them, but because, as I see it, there was a reason I stopped seeing them in the first place, and my need to seek them is a testament to myself that there is anybody else out there, that I can only settle for what's easy, and so on. So I will quit the habit of contacting those people and look at the future. Sometimes it is better to leave those things that belong to the past in their right place. I am burning those bridges for good.
Thanks for reading.
Hans.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
(26-365) Asking...
I work at SAKS FIFTH AVENUE. I WORK in the 5th floor contemporary shoe floor. When I've got that job, I thought I was going to make tons of money, but I was wrong. This entry will tell you what happened.
I WROTE this letter. TWO days later, the stockroom was organized. Two days later, my boss, bring me up to her office to thank me that I wrote that letter and to promise me that things were going to change. She basically asked me to be patient about it.
What I want to do with this post is to show you that complaining to your friends about your life doesn't work. It might give you a outlet to escape, but it doesn't give you any power. What does help is for you to talk about the right people about what you want to happen, making a request for them to hear to you and see the results.
Thanks for reading.
When I was offered to work for SAKS, I was already training to work for Jeffreys. Jeffreys is a very exclusive boutique located in the meat packing district of Manhattan. I was guaranteed to make at least 85,000-100,0000 dollars a year. Why I declined that incredible opportunity? Because I thought Saks was going to be like a second bergdorfs, and it wasn't.
There were problems with my department. My floor mananger didn't have any courage. The stock room manager was kid that didn't now much about running a stock room properly. He didn't care about organizing the shoes by vendor color and size. The store was or still practically hiring everyone that is unemployed in New York City. In a commission environment, having tons of people competing with you is just not only unfair, but bad for business. So these were some of the problems that I had working for there. My co-workers had no other choice but to complain among each other about whatever they thought was screwed-up about our workplace. I decided to do something different.
I wrote a letter to the president, and the letter that I wrote was this:
Dear Ms. President,
My name is Hans Gonzalez, I work on the contemporary shoe salon on the 5th floor. I have been working here since last October. With this letter, I wanted to bring your attention to my department and express the concerns that we all have.
I have been working in retail for about 14 years now, and honestly, never seen some many disatisfied people in one department. Since I started work here a little bit over 5 months now, 5 or more people have left the floor. Everyone i ask expresses the same feeling. The problems that we complain about are not many, but they are very serious problems, and surprisingly, they have very easy solutions. But it seems the decision-makers that could easily create the changes that are needed not only for us the associates, but for Saks as well, are too busy with other things, or have no interest whatsoever. We need to create an environment that is in accordance with Saks' mission statement: "A great place to work, a great place to shop, and a great place to invest."Our problems are these: The size of our floor can only hold 15-18 people max. We have 24 and counting. Having lots and lots of people makes it extremely difficult for everyone that work here and the more people that you bring, the less money we all make. Think about it! What would you say, if your boss tell you that your salary next year will have to be cut in half? Living in New York is extremely expensive and we all have bills and responsibilities. I hear people say that just to pay their rent they had to cash out their 401k, ask money from relatives, etc. I for one had to stop paying child support in more than one occation because at times, I wasn't making any money at all. Sure we can all become sharks and struggle for survival, but what does it say about Saks Fifth Avenue? How would our customer perceive us if every time they come to shop, more and more people are on the floor, and the people that were here for a long time, had to leave to other companies?
The second problem is our stock room. There is just not enough place to stack so many shoes. It is extremely difficult to find shoes in here when the "organized not only by the color of the vendor's boxes, but by the color, style and size" is def. not in the vocabulary of the people in charge of running it. Hundreds of thousands of dollars are lost each year just because of all the shoes that we are never never able to find. Talk about putting a price to a simple problem!
We have other issues, but if only these two were addressed and taken care of, our department would transform overnight into a really enjoyable place to work. What we want will not only benefit us the employees, it will also benefit our level of productivity, sense of pride, our customer's perception of the department, sale volume, and general satisfaction. Wouldn't be good to double our sales in a single year?Sincerely yours,Hans Gonzalez
I WROTE this letter. TWO days later, the stockroom was organized. Two days later, my boss, bring me up to her office to thank me that I wrote that letter and to promise me that things were going to change. She basically asked me to be patient about it.
What I want to do with this post is to show you that complaining to your friends about your life doesn't work. It might give you a outlet to escape, but it doesn't give you any power. What does help is for you to talk about the right people about what you want to happen, making a request for them to hear to you and see the results.
Thanks for reading.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
(25-365) Sense of direction...
I started this blog with the promise to write every day about my experiences regarding the law of attraction.
For the last three days or so, I haven't written anything. I guess I was amiss with the whole thing or had the feeling I wasn't going anywhere with it, until today.
This morning I heard the famous speaker Anthony Robbins talk about how simple adjustments, tiny steps, or very small changes to our personality, can completly change the direction of our entire lives.
It is a simple, yet very powerful lesson. Our lives follow a pattern, the result of our daily actions, which in turn are the result of our thoughts. Changing how we think will cause the direction of our lives to change.
I've heard that we all want the big changes in our lives, and that we don't always pay attention to the small changes that can make the big changes take place. Having said that, what small changes can I make?
Calling people by their actual names. It's a bad habit of mine not to use people's names when I get to know them, I guess because my mind thinks that by doing so is a sign of actually being close to the person. However, people love the sound of their names more than anything else. Using it in conversations is the smart thing to do always.
Thinking before speaking. With this I mean making sure that I sound clear every time I say something, keeping a close check to my feelings. The image that we project to the world is what determines how people perceive us, and their perception is who we ultimately are. What everyone thinks we are at any given time is what we are, regardless of what we think of ourselves to be.
Communicating with my loved ones. Once I heard that most of our relationships live only in memory. When we are not in communication with someone for a long time we are not relating with that person, period. Regardless of what we are in blood, the actual relationship exists only in our memory. It is when we take the time to be with people what makes the relationship with them real. Keep this in mind.
This list will continue in further blogs, but I think you get the sense of what I am trying to get at. The biggest changes in our lives take place as a result of the small changes that we make on a daily basis.
Thanks for reading.
For the last three days or so, I haven't written anything. I guess I was amiss with the whole thing or had the feeling I wasn't going anywhere with it, until today.
This morning I heard the famous speaker Anthony Robbins talk about how simple adjustments, tiny steps, or very small changes to our personality, can completly change the direction of our entire lives.
It is a simple, yet very powerful lesson. Our lives follow a pattern, the result of our daily actions, which in turn are the result of our thoughts. Changing how we think will cause the direction of our lives to change.
I've heard that we all want the big changes in our lives, and that we don't always pay attention to the small changes that can make the big changes take place. Having said that, what small changes can I make?
Calling people by their actual names. It's a bad habit of mine not to use people's names when I get to know them, I guess because my mind thinks that by doing so is a sign of actually being close to the person. However, people love the sound of their names more than anything else. Using it in conversations is the smart thing to do always.
Thinking before speaking. With this I mean making sure that I sound clear every time I say something, keeping a close check to my feelings. The image that we project to the world is what determines how people perceive us, and their perception is who we ultimately are. What everyone thinks we are at any given time is what we are, regardless of what we think of ourselves to be.
Communicating with my loved ones. Once I heard that most of our relationships live only in memory. When we are not in communication with someone for a long time we are not relating with that person, period. Regardless of what we are in blood, the actual relationship exists only in our memory. It is when we take the time to be with people what makes the relationship with them real. Keep this in mind.
This list will continue in further blogs, but I think you get the sense of what I am trying to get at. The biggest changes in our lives take place as a result of the small changes that we make on a daily basis.
Thanks for reading.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
(23,24 out of 365) Focusing
Last night was the first night I broke my promise of blogging every day.
Last night I went to bed at 4 am working on my site thegoldenmile.net. I was struck to find out that I had not taken advantage of keyword search. I search my page for keywords and found none. No wonder my page has not generated any revenue yet!
So I decided to start writing lots and lots of keywords. I am really focusing on marketing my photography services in way that I nave never done it before, and for that I have to say, I am really happy. I notice that I am paying attention to who could be a potential customer and I am introducing myself to them as a professional photographer. I give them my card and they go "wow." :-)
Take care.
Hans.
Last night I went to bed at 4 am working on my site thegoldenmile.net. I was struck to find out that I had not taken advantage of keyword search. I search my page for keywords and found none. No wonder my page has not generated any revenue yet!
So I decided to start writing lots and lots of keywords. I am really focusing on marketing my photography services in way that I nave never done it before, and for that I have to say, I am really happy. I notice that I am paying attention to who could be a potential customer and I am introducing myself to them as a professional photographer. I give them my card and they go "wow." :-)
Take care.
Hans.
Monday, March 14, 2011
(22-365) Time
I am finding new ways to deal with my time. I eliminated the habit of giving excuses of not having enough time of reaching my goals and dreams. I am now in control of my destiny, therefore, I the future is bright. I thanks God for his divine guidance and perfect self-expression. Every day and in a every way, I am getting better and better. I am now opening my eyes to new and exciting posibilities. I am surrounded with love, good friends, and good relatives.
Thank You God for always being there for me.
Thank You Lord.
Thank You God for always being there for me.
Thank You Lord.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
(21-365) Visualization
Visualization is very simple: See youself as you wish to be and imagine having the things you wish to have. It is evident, that if you can't see yourself owning that home, having those friends, or marrying that kind of person, your chances of bringing those things to your experience are slim. This post is about visulation.
Besides working at Saks in the shoe department, I am a photographer. I have been taking pictures for quite some time, however, I haven't managed to make it a career. Some time ago, I started a blog with the intention of sharing my experiences of becoming a full-time photographer. The blog took a turn and became an outlet for my need to share my views on areas such as philosphy, psychology, etc. In other words, it failed in its primary intention.
But I haven't stopped taking pictures. the thing that has helped me continue is the feedback that I receive from the people that look at my photographs. They really like my eye, and say I am a very talented photographer. I could have been a full-time photographer already. I have had the money and education materials to make that a reality, but something in me, kept me from making my dream of becoming independent not come true.
That thing is my self-image, how I see myself. I know that when I really want something to be done, and something right, I get it done. For example, I've had had made lots of business cards in the past, and they have not been well perceived. Two weeks ago, I decided to create a truly remarkable business card, I did it and it is that one that you see in the picture. It folds down, and it has another image in the back, it is a gorgeous business card.
I worked with a semi-professional Canon Digital SLR camera. Canon introduced a full-frame SLR digital camera two or three years ago. It was a dream of mine to own one, but didn't think it was wise to spend 2,500-3,000usd on a camera if I wasn't making any money in it. For me, owning such camera was a sign that I was already a professional photographer and that I was making the money to justify making such an investment, I was wrong!
After receiving my income tax check, I was about to make the same mistake with the money I did in 2009 by blowing it all on trips to the Dominican Republic. Instead, I decided to buy the Canon 5D Mark II full-frame professional camera. I believe it was a very smart decision.
Having a professional camera makes me look like the professional that I am, which allows me to justify charging more for my services that I deserve as a result. I know that I have to buy more equipment, and that there are a lot of other things that need to be done, but one thing for certain, I need to see myself succeeding.
If deep down inside I don't feel that I deserve what I want, no matter how many cameras I buy, or how much money I have at my disposal, the odds of me becoming a professional photographer are pretty much very slim. I need see myself as having all the equipment that I need and also working as a truly professional photograher.
A few months ago, I posted a picture of the camera that I wanted on the wall in my bedroom. At the time I did it I was going through some huge financial problems, frankly, I didn't know how I was going to be able to afford that camera. Two or three months later, it is in my hands.
Thanks for reading, good night.
Hans.
Besides working at Saks in the shoe department, I am a photographer. I have been taking pictures for quite some time, however, I haven't managed to make it a career. Some time ago, I started a blog with the intention of sharing my experiences of becoming a full-time photographer. The blog took a turn and became an outlet for my need to share my views on areas such as philosphy, psychology, etc. In other words, it failed in its primary intention.
But I haven't stopped taking pictures. the thing that has helped me continue is the feedback that I receive from the people that look at my photographs. They really like my eye, and say I am a very talented photographer. I could have been a full-time photographer already. I have had the money and education materials to make that a reality, but something in me, kept me from making my dream of becoming independent not come true.
I worked with a semi-professional Canon Digital SLR camera. Canon introduced a full-frame SLR digital camera two or three years ago. It was a dream of mine to own one, but didn't think it was wise to spend 2,500-3,000usd on a camera if I wasn't making any money in it. For me, owning such camera was a sign that I was already a professional photographer and that I was making the money to justify making such an investment, I was wrong!
After receiving my income tax check, I was about to make the same mistake with the money I did in 2009 by blowing it all on trips to the Dominican Republic. Instead, I decided to buy the Canon 5D Mark II full-frame professional camera. I believe it was a very smart decision.
Having a professional camera makes me look like the professional that I am, which allows me to justify charging more for my services that I deserve as a result. I know that I have to buy more equipment, and that there are a lot of other things that need to be done, but one thing for certain, I need to see myself succeeding.
If deep down inside I don't feel that I deserve what I want, no matter how many cameras I buy, or how much money I have at my disposal, the odds of me becoming a professional photographer are pretty much very slim. I need see myself as having all the equipment that I need and also working as a truly professional photograher.
A few months ago, I posted a picture of the camera that I wanted on the wall in my bedroom. At the time I did it I was going through some huge financial problems, frankly, I didn't know how I was going to be able to afford that camera. Two or three months later, it is in my hands.
Thanks for reading, good night.
Hans.
Friday, March 11, 2011
(20-365 do over) Too complex to have a Title.
I am re-writing the post from yesterday today Saturday March 12, 2011. When I wrote it, I was very angry and said things I shouldn't have, for that I appologize.
The teachings of the law of attraction are very clear: Your thoughts create you destiny. But there is a lot of work to be done. Our lives are pretty clomplex and merely to do some excersises here and there is not enough. Getting to know ourselves is very critical, and requires a lot of self-observation, meditation, and sacrifice.
The reason I want to succeed doing this project is because I want to achieve happiness, and be able to help others such as my sisters, my father and mother live better than what they are living right now.
It is of supreme importance, that we pay close attention to our speech. What we say, and how we say it.
This project has made me take a closer look at how I interact with others. At times when I feel at ease, I can communicate very well and I am perceived as someone that is very intelligent, resourceful, and smart. But when I don't feel at ease, it is as though I am an ESL student. I had mentioned this in earlier postings.
I have been struggling for some time to handle my time a little better. Because of not keeping a calendar, time seems to be slipping from my fingers. I have to learn how to distribute my free time better this week and create the habit of using my iphone to make sure that the important things that I've been wanting to do, I get them done. Things like studying photography, posting on ebay, going to the gym, going to the post office, reading other books and magazines, keeping up with the trends in my field, visiting relatives and friends, calling people, meditiation and prayer, etc.
Every day that I write on this, I see more and more the importance of taking my life more seriously and being more diligent on just about everything.
Thanks for reading.
Hans.
The teachings of the law of attraction are very clear: Your thoughts create you destiny. But there is a lot of work to be done. Our lives are pretty clomplex and merely to do some excersises here and there is not enough. Getting to know ourselves is very critical, and requires a lot of self-observation, meditation, and sacrifice.
The reason I want to succeed doing this project is because I want to achieve happiness, and be able to help others such as my sisters, my father and mother live better than what they are living right now.
It is of supreme importance, that we pay close attention to our speech. What we say, and how we say it.
This project has made me take a closer look at how I interact with others. At times when I feel at ease, I can communicate very well and I am perceived as someone that is very intelligent, resourceful, and smart. But when I don't feel at ease, it is as though I am an ESL student. I had mentioned this in earlier postings.
I have been struggling for some time to handle my time a little better. Because of not keeping a calendar, time seems to be slipping from my fingers. I have to learn how to distribute my free time better this week and create the habit of using my iphone to make sure that the important things that I've been wanting to do, I get them done. Things like studying photography, posting on ebay, going to the gym, going to the post office, reading other books and magazines, keeping up with the trends in my field, visiting relatives and friends, calling people, meditiation and prayer, etc.
Every day that I write on this, I see more and more the importance of taking my life more seriously and being more diligent on just about everything.
Thanks for reading.
Hans.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
(19-365)
I promised I was going to write every day, but I have no idea what to say.
It was a nice day at work. I felt as if I was at Bergdorf's, the way I behaved with customers anyway. I am unique, I know. If you are making 100 times more than me, fuck you for comparing yourself with me. pick someone else to delight in your miserable existence.
I had a date I was looking forward to and it got cancelled. Instead of getting angry or depressed, I decided to think different. Frankly, I don't give myself the credit I deserve
Fuck, I don't know what to write, sorry people. I am going to bed. My Sister Biembenida is 40 today. it is a rainy day in New York City. I went to church and prayed. I prayed so I could get the fuck away from my luck. Sorry. I remember this day as the day I had nothing meaningful to say.
My ex wife is pregnant. My daughter is 13. I have no girlfriend. My fiannces are in turmoil. My job I hate. How do you want me to think?
It was a nice day at work. I felt as if I was at Bergdorf's, the way I behaved with customers anyway. I am unique, I know. If you are making 100 times more than me, fuck you for comparing yourself with me. pick someone else to delight in your miserable existence.
I had a date I was looking forward to and it got cancelled. Instead of getting angry or depressed, I decided to think different. Frankly, I don't give myself the credit I deserve
Fuck, I don't know what to write, sorry people. I am going to bed. My Sister Biembenida is 40 today. it is a rainy day in New York City. I went to church and prayed. I prayed so I could get the fuck away from my luck. Sorry. I remember this day as the day I had nothing meaningful to say.
My ex wife is pregnant. My daughter is 13. I have no girlfriend. My fiannces are in turmoil. My job I hate. How do you want me to think?
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
(18-365) Fear
Fear is a big subject to talk about in just one entry, however, the type of fear that I am talking about is the one that prevents us from expressing ourselves with authority and self-confidence; in other words, fearless.
Fear is a huge problem of mine. It is embedded in my speech and manifests itself in how I speak, what I speak and how I express myself. I want to bring attention to this issue of fear so that I can have a better understanding of its effects in my life.
When I write something, I make sure that I let my thoughts come out and not think of it too much until I finish saying what I want to say. Before I let anyone to read it, I first proof read what I wrote, and fix all the mistakes. In talking, however, I don't have that luxury. My words are taken as the final product as soon as they come out of my mouth. I can easily see how important it is to really think of what I am going to say before I say it.
Even thought I do this sometimes, the habit of thinking before talking is not in my repertoire. I don't necessarily refer to the words and sentences that we use in our every day language, but the feelings behind our sentences. This is especially evident when I ask questions or make requests. If fear is overwhelming, anything that comes out of my mouth is bound to be misunderstood due to the fact that fear forces my words to be unclear and my actions to be bizzare; weird to comprehend.
From now on, every time I decide to do something, I will willingly commit my heart to it so I can get it. Next time I find someone very attractive, I will go for the price and not chicken out. If photography is my next thing, I will give my heart to it. I will do what I need to do to succeed. I will talk to the right people and get all my questions answered so that I will have no more excuse to be extremely successful. I will not fear success anymore.
Thanks for reading.
P.S. Sorry for all the "I's"
Hans.
Fear is a huge problem of mine. It is embedded in my speech and manifests itself in how I speak, what I speak and how I express myself. I want to bring attention to this issue of fear so that I can have a better understanding of its effects in my life.
When I write something, I make sure that I let my thoughts come out and not think of it too much until I finish saying what I want to say. Before I let anyone to read it, I first proof read what I wrote, and fix all the mistakes. In talking, however, I don't have that luxury. My words are taken as the final product as soon as they come out of my mouth. I can easily see how important it is to really think of what I am going to say before I say it.
Even thought I do this sometimes, the habit of thinking before talking is not in my repertoire. I don't necessarily refer to the words and sentences that we use in our every day language, but the feelings behind our sentences. This is especially evident when I ask questions or make requests. If fear is overwhelming, anything that comes out of my mouth is bound to be misunderstood due to the fact that fear forces my words to be unclear and my actions to be bizzare; weird to comprehend.
From now on, every time I decide to do something, I will willingly commit my heart to it so I can get it. Next time I find someone very attractive, I will go for the price and not chicken out. If photography is my next thing, I will give my heart to it. I will do what I need to do to succeed. I will talk to the right people and get all my questions answered so that I will have no more excuse to be extremely successful. I will not fear success anymore.
Thanks for reading.
P.S. Sorry for all the "I's"
Hans.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
(17-365) Thinking...
Today was a very slow day at Saks, nothing exciting happened there, after Saks, I came home, made something to eat and went to the gym. After that I sat in the computer the whole night (not on facebook). It was not a really nice day anyway.
Thinking habits are hard to break. I don't know if the reason I don't have a lot of time to do what I want to do is due to the fact that I am just screaming that all the time, or because am really not taking full advantage of all my free time. Since what we think and say becomes true, then I have to stop declaring those things that don't serve me; things like "there is just not enough time."
I kept my promised and texted a lot of people and said hi, and most of them held a brief conversation with me, which was good, but not good enough. I have to figure this "I don't have time, money, energy" problem and come up with a really good solution now! That's all I have.
Thanks for reading.
Thinking habits are hard to break. I don't know if the reason I don't have a lot of time to do what I want to do is due to the fact that I am just screaming that all the time, or because am really not taking full advantage of all my free time. Since what we think and say becomes true, then I have to stop declaring those things that don't serve me; things like "there is just not enough time."
I kept my promised and texted a lot of people and said hi, and most of them held a brief conversation with me, which was good, but not good enough. I have to figure this "I don't have time, money, energy" problem and come up with a really good solution now! That's all I have.
Thanks for reading.
Monday, March 7, 2011
(15-365) The difference between positive and a negative mentality
Today was my first day at Saks. After spending three days at home off from work I realized how great it is to be away from such a negative environment. Having the habit of thinking negative thoughts is a very hard thing to come out of. After all that I have read about the power of negative thoughts, the law of attraction, and the dynamics of getting what one wants, it is mind blowing that I let myself get drawn to that horrible way of being.
For five months or so, I was in misery. I couldn't see past my plight. I was moneyless, powerless, depressed, and in want. I told my story to everyone that lent me his or her ear. I dwelt on the feeling of not being able to do what I wanted for a very long time. I didn't even have money to buy gas. But when I started changing the way I talked, a feeling of power started to emerge.
I can clearly see now how powerful thought is. Most people, when they talk very negative always justify their perception of reality as the real thing. If you were to tell them that they were worsening their experience by the words that came out of their mouth, they would tell you that they are not negative people, but realists. What they don't know, is that what they see is in effect a creation of their minds.
Today I went to work with a positive outlook, and surprisingly had the best day I had in months. I could still hear in the background the negative conversations of my co-workers, and saw how they fed off from that misery. I chose not to take part of it. I communicated with my customers; impregnating a very positive, humorous personality and leaving them feeling a little better than what they felt when they first saw me. It was good. I plan to stay that way.
There is no reason for me to fall back on the habit of being miserable. I have plenty of things to sell on eBay, the good health, and energy to avoid that to happen. I am perfectly capable not only on having enough to survive, but on having control of my finances once and for all. I am now building my future and my resources. I thank God for being the provider of my life.
I am very happy that I changed my diet. I once heard that the people of a rich neighborhood and the ones from a poor neighborhood think differently because they eat differently. Are people's lives a product of their diets or are their diets a product of their lives? I think both are very connected. When you change one the other is changed as well. Change does not happen automatically. But with increased strength, mental energy and good health, it is fair to say that our actions, however trivial, tend to have a powerful effect in our lives.
I have to make it a habit to communicate with my family. Tomorrow I am going to start texting them more often and communicate through that first, then little by little I will include calling them and checking up on them. The ultimate goal in that respect will be to spend more time with most of them.
Thanks for reading, good night.
Hans.
For five months or so, I was in misery. I couldn't see past my plight. I was moneyless, powerless, depressed, and in want. I told my story to everyone that lent me his or her ear. I dwelt on the feeling of not being able to do what I wanted for a very long time. I didn't even have money to buy gas. But when I started changing the way I talked, a feeling of power started to emerge.
I can clearly see now how powerful thought is. Most people, when they talk very negative always justify their perception of reality as the real thing. If you were to tell them that they were worsening their experience by the words that came out of their mouth, they would tell you that they are not negative people, but realists. What they don't know, is that what they see is in effect a creation of their minds.
Today I went to work with a positive outlook, and surprisingly had the best day I had in months. I could still hear in the background the negative conversations of my co-workers, and saw how they fed off from that misery. I chose not to take part of it. I communicated with my customers; impregnating a very positive, humorous personality and leaving them feeling a little better than what they felt when they first saw me. It was good. I plan to stay that way.
There is no reason for me to fall back on the habit of being miserable. I have plenty of things to sell on eBay, the good health, and energy to avoid that to happen. I am perfectly capable not only on having enough to survive, but on having control of my finances once and for all. I am now building my future and my resources. I thank God for being the provider of my life.
I am very happy that I changed my diet. I once heard that the people of a rich neighborhood and the ones from a poor neighborhood think differently because they eat differently. Are people's lives a product of their diets or are their diets a product of their lives? I think both are very connected. When you change one the other is changed as well. Change does not happen automatically. But with increased strength, mental energy and good health, it is fair to say that our actions, however trivial, tend to have a powerful effect in our lives.
I have to make it a habit to communicate with my family. Tomorrow I am going to start texting them more often and communicate through that first, then little by little I will include calling them and checking up on them. The ultimate goal in that respect will be to spend more time with most of them.
Thanks for reading, good night.
Hans.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
(14-365) Excuses excuses excuses
It's 2:08am. I am supposed to be dead asleep, but because of my promise of doing a blog entry once a day, here we go.
Today was a very wet day in New York City. I stayed home most of the day and decided to do a little cleaning. I live in a fairly large apartment, two bedrooms, one bath, one kitchen, and one large living room. I started organizing my closets, and spent the whole day doing so. The reason I am taking so long to organize my two closets (haven't finished), is because of all the eBay stuff I had stored there.
For the last 5 or so months, I have been complaining that I don't make enough money to support myself. Complaining that all my doors are closed; that opportunities have not come up. The feeling is terrible. Not having enough money to buy what you need to buy, and constantly be in want can make any person go over the edge from time to time. It kept me in want not so much for my lack of opportunities, but becase of how I feeling inside.
I had lots of opportunities; interviews with fine companies, which made me scratch my head in more than one occasion when they didn't hire me. It is definitely better said than done, but when we are putting out the vibration of misery and want, it is very difficult to see the many opportunities that surrounds us.
I had made plans to go the Dominican Republic on a short trip so I could see the beach, take pictures and drink lots and lots of rhum. I renewed my passport, and took those days off from work, but at the last minute, I said to myself "Hans, what in the world do you think you are going to do?" I said that because for a long time, I had been meaning to replace my Canon 50D SLR camera for a 5D Mark II, the full sensor, professional SLR. I wanted that camera because once a photographer has a 5D Mark II, he or she is considered to be a professional photographer, and therefore he is taken seriously. So I decided against not going to my home country and bought the camera instead. I also put my old 50D up for sale on ebay and craigslist for 750.00. In actuality, I will be only investing around 1500 on the new camera, the same that I would have spent on rhum and women.
While I was organizing the closets, I noticed I have hundreds of pieces of clothing still not listed online. I thought to myself "If money is one of the issues in your life Hans, why on earth don't you put all these things up for sale? " I was always too busy to do it, too tired, not in the mood, etc. But maybe, since my main object of attetion was the fact that I lack money and not that I wanted money, making it was not so much in tune with how I was feeling at the time: like a poor bastard. That feeling (we are talking about the law of attraction, pay attention) also was making my checks go from 700 dollars a week to less than 200. It was an awful feeling indeed.
But thanks to my Income Tax refund, I was able to pay lots of bills, buy clothes, and the new camera. I I am going to get all the necessary gear that I need to promote myself and not have the feeling that I need this, or that I need that, etc. I am going to work my ass off from now on. I decided to quit chatting on facebook, it was taking a lot of my time. And I will work on ebay every single day of the week. I will also read my industry books, join professional organizations, network with other people, continue to work on rebuilding my relationship with my family members, my exercise routine, and my love life.
Today was a very good day.
Thanks for reading, good night.
Today was a very wet day in New York City. I stayed home most of the day and decided to do a little cleaning. I live in a fairly large apartment, two bedrooms, one bath, one kitchen, and one large living room. I started organizing my closets, and spent the whole day doing so. The reason I am taking so long to organize my two closets (haven't finished), is because of all the eBay stuff I had stored there.
For the last 5 or so months, I have been complaining that I don't make enough money to support myself. Complaining that all my doors are closed; that opportunities have not come up. The feeling is terrible. Not having enough money to buy what you need to buy, and constantly be in want can make any person go over the edge from time to time. It kept me in want not so much for my lack of opportunities, but becase of how I feeling inside.
I had lots of opportunities; interviews with fine companies, which made me scratch my head in more than one occasion when they didn't hire me. It is definitely better said than done, but when we are putting out the vibration of misery and want, it is very difficult to see the many opportunities that surrounds us.
I had made plans to go the Dominican Republic on a short trip so I could see the beach, take pictures and drink lots and lots of rhum. I renewed my passport, and took those days off from work, but at the last minute, I said to myself "Hans, what in the world do you think you are going to do?" I said that because for a long time, I had been meaning to replace my Canon 50D SLR camera for a 5D Mark II, the full sensor, professional SLR. I wanted that camera because once a photographer has a 5D Mark II, he or she is considered to be a professional photographer, and therefore he is taken seriously. So I decided against not going to my home country and bought the camera instead. I also put my old 50D up for sale on ebay and craigslist for 750.00. In actuality, I will be only investing around 1500 on the new camera, the same that I would have spent on rhum and women.
While I was organizing the closets, I noticed I have hundreds of pieces of clothing still not listed online. I thought to myself "If money is one of the issues in your life Hans, why on earth don't you put all these things up for sale? " I was always too busy to do it, too tired, not in the mood, etc. But maybe, since my main object of attetion was the fact that I lack money and not that I wanted money, making it was not so much in tune with how I was feeling at the time: like a poor bastard. That feeling (we are talking about the law of attraction, pay attention) also was making my checks go from 700 dollars a week to less than 200. It was an awful feeling indeed.
But thanks to my Income Tax refund, I was able to pay lots of bills, buy clothes, and the new camera. I I am going to get all the necessary gear that I need to promote myself and not have the feeling that I need this, or that I need that, etc. I am going to work my ass off from now on. I decided to quit chatting on facebook, it was taking a lot of my time. And I will work on ebay every single day of the week. I will also read my industry books, join professional organizations, network with other people, continue to work on rebuilding my relationship with my family members, my exercise routine, and my love life.
Today was a very good day.
Thanks for reading, good night.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
(13-365) Bad habits...
We are indeed creatures of habits.
It is true. If you don't make a plan and stick to it, you just follow your habits. Today I took my daughter to Costco to buy a lot of much-needed supplies. I had a lot of things planned for today, and time just evaporated, couldn't do much of it, habit is a bitch!
My mother, my father, my little sister Stephanie, my aunts... I could have arranged to visit them, but somehow, I just didn't. Was it because I didn't want to see them or because I am not used to seeing them.
A habit must be created. Just as going to the gym is a habit, visiting/calling your parents is a habit as well.
Tomorrow I have off. I will go to the gym (didnt go today), and I will arrange to see my little half-sister, brothers, and father. I haven't seen him in a long time. I have to make a commitment to see the most important people of my life in a regular basis. This will be so.
I decided to make Saturdays or Sunday my break-my-diet days. I will pick one or the other from week to week. And I am going to lift weights every other day. The days that I am not lifting weights I am going to spend it doing areobic excersises. One hour at least. As for diet, I am going to continue on eating salads, smoothies, lots of tea and water.
Thanks for reading.
It is true. If you don't make a plan and stick to it, you just follow your habits. Today I took my daughter to Costco to buy a lot of much-needed supplies. I had a lot of things planned for today, and time just evaporated, couldn't do much of it, habit is a bitch!
My mother, my father, my little sister Stephanie, my aunts... I could have arranged to visit them, but somehow, I just didn't. Was it because I didn't want to see them or because I am not used to seeing them.
A habit must be created. Just as going to the gym is a habit, visiting/calling your parents is a habit as well.
Tomorrow I have off. I will go to the gym (didnt go today), and I will arrange to see my little half-sister, brothers, and father. I haven't seen him in a long time. I have to make a commitment to see the most important people of my life in a regular basis. This will be so.
I decided to make Saturdays or Sunday my break-my-diet days. I will pick one or the other from week to week. And I am going to lift weights every other day. The days that I am not lifting weights I am going to spend it doing areobic excersises. One hour at least. As for diet, I am going to continue on eating salads, smoothies, lots of tea and water.
Thanks for reading.
Friday, March 4, 2011
(12-365) Expect the best!
New beginnings...
Lots of people go through rough times. But the difference between those that get over it and the ones that don't is in their thinking.
If you are going through a rough time and hate what you are going through, I feel your pain, it's a tough situation indeed. But if you see the situation temporary and you are expecting things to get a lot better, I guarantee you, they will.
I own a Volkswagen Passat 2003, and since December of last year, I haven't driven the car. It has a big problem, the heater doesn't work. The though of spending money to fix it was an impossibility. For months, I was going to work making less than enough to make ends meet. But I never considered myself a failure, but that I was going through a very rough time, a temporary one.
Today I received my income tax refund. For the first time in months, I will be able to pay for the things that I need to help my business move forward. I need new lenses, new clothes, a new camera, a laptop computer, new equipment, everything is going to happen this month, and I am excited that it will be so. God is great.
Today is a day of celebration. It is a day of greatness. I have enough money to finally fix the problems that I have with my car, by my plain tickets, pay bills, buy groceries, clothes, etc. Isnt' that great? I saw my daughter today and told her I was going to take her shopping on Sunday.
The business cards that I made are amazing. It is going to be a great year indeed. I expect that it will be so.
Thanks for reading.
Lots of people go through rough times. But the difference between those that get over it and the ones that don't is in their thinking.
If you are going through a rough time and hate what you are going through, I feel your pain, it's a tough situation indeed. But if you see the situation temporary and you are expecting things to get a lot better, I guarantee you, they will.
I own a Volkswagen Passat 2003, and since December of last year, I haven't driven the car. It has a big problem, the heater doesn't work. The though of spending money to fix it was an impossibility. For months, I was going to work making less than enough to make ends meet. But I never considered myself a failure, but that I was going through a very rough time, a temporary one.
Today I received my income tax refund. For the first time in months, I will be able to pay for the things that I need to help my business move forward. I need new lenses, new clothes, a new camera, a laptop computer, new equipment, everything is going to happen this month, and I am excited that it will be so. God is great.
Today is a day of celebration. It is a day of greatness. I have enough money to finally fix the problems that I have with my car, by my plain tickets, pay bills, buy groceries, clothes, etc. Isnt' that great? I saw my daughter today and told her I was going to take her shopping on Sunday.
The business cards that I made are amazing. It is going to be a great year indeed. I expect that it will be so.
Thanks for reading.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
(11-365) Treat everyone with the upmost respect
At the store where I work I have been dealing with a big problem: In a small footwear department where I sell contemporary designer women shoes on commission, I have to work along with twenty-five other people, which is a challenge because the business that our department generates, nor its size is enough to justify the decision by the management for hiring so many employees. Furthermore, the way our pay is set up adds insult to injury; they pay us 10% commission on the shoes that we sell with a draw of 10.00 per hour. At the end of the week, if our commission exceeds our draw, we get pay for the draw plus the commission, but if our draw exceeds our commission, the store pays us the draw, which is the amount of hours at 10 p/h, but our earnings suffer a beating the next time we make the draw; the store takes that money back on the next paycheck. Essentially, what the stores pays us for failing to make the draw is nothing but a loan; the week we don't make the draw, we work for free.
This system can be tolerated in a fair-working environment, but when you are competing with a very large number of co-workers, it is a very challenging situation indeed.
A few days ago, me and one other co-worker were having a small conversation on the sales floor while there were customers in it. One customer behind my co-worker addressed me and said "excuse me" because she needed help with a shoe. My co-worker immediately turned to her, grabbed the shoe from her hand and proceeded to wait on her. I stood there speechless that he didn't have any consideration to the fact that I was there facing the customer and that I was already going to help her. After that incident, I confronted my friend and told him never to do that again. We had a long discussion and it turned out that he didn't know that what he was doing was inappropriate.
A few hours later, I saw him in the lunchroom and had another conversation. I explained to him why I was so frustrated at the situation that had just taken place. I told him that I had accepted that position because I thought it was going to be a great opportunity. I also told him that for the past 5 weeks, my checks have been extremely low, and that it was not enough for me to make ends meet. I told him that sometimes I didn't even have money to pay for child support, and that the only feasible solution for me was to get another job. We ended the conversation in good terms. He promised me to get me in touch with one of his friends so that she could help me with my photography work that I do on the side. A day later he invited me to lunch. We agreed to go today, but ended up forgetting about it because of all the frustrations and long meetings that took place.
At one point while on my break, I noticed that he approaching me from behind to handle me an envelope. He put it in my suit pocket and told me not to tell anyone that he gave me that. I said thanks without turning my back (I was on the computer, but frankly didn't know what to do at the time, didn't want to make a scene) I am thinking to myself, maybe is 20 bucks. I opened the envelope and see five one-hundred dollar bills inside. I was speechless. I didn't know what to say, think, or do at the moment, frozen by what had taken place.
The first thing that came out of my mouth when I saw the guy was to ask him if he was crazy. He told me that he had heard my situation and that he was in the position to help me. I tried to give him the money back but he didn't want it. I couldn't believe what had just happened. This guy, who barely knew me decided to give me five hundred dollars in cash.
I will be forever indebted to this guy, and forever grateful at his amazing act of generosity. This is proof that god exists, and that we can't never guess how he will extend his hand to help us. I learned a powerful lesson today; one that I will never forget: we can't never knows who can be of help in times of need, therefore, it is imperative that we treat everyone with the upmost respect.
We all fall into the habit of judging other people based on their looks, education, race, culture, sex, etc. We do that because of our own internal concepts of what we believe to be true about them. But very often, we are completely wrong by failing to get to know who they really are.
Because of what that guy did, I will be able this week to solve a lot of my problems that I had because of my lack of funds. I thank God for what happened today, and may him bless my friend and his family for his extreaordinary act of generosity.
In other news: I was a little bit more talkative today. Approached people, asked questions, got to know more about them. I even called my mother and wished her goodnight (I call my father tomorrow and everyone else). I went to the gym, stuck to my diet of not eating crap; I had two home-made smoothies. Two peanut butter sandwiches, One big salad, and one smoothie for dinner.
This stuff works!
Thanks for reading.
A few hours later, I saw him in the lunchroom and had another conversation. I explained to him why I was so frustrated at the situation that had just taken place. I told him that I had accepted that position because I thought it was going to be a great opportunity. I also told him that for the past 5 weeks, my checks have been extremely low, and that it was not enough for me to make ends meet. I told him that sometimes I didn't even have money to pay for child support, and that the only feasible solution for me was to get another job. We ended the conversation in good terms. He promised me to get me in touch with one of his friends so that she could help me with my photography work that I do on the side. A day later he invited me to lunch. We agreed to go today, but ended up forgetting about it because of all the frustrations and long meetings that took place.
At one point while on my break, I noticed that he approaching me from behind to handle me an envelope. He put it in my suit pocket and told me not to tell anyone that he gave me that. I said thanks without turning my back (I was on the computer, but frankly didn't know what to do at the time, didn't want to make a scene) I am thinking to myself, maybe is 20 bucks. I opened the envelope and see five one-hundred dollar bills inside. I was speechless. I didn't know what to say, think, or do at the moment, frozen by what had taken place.
The first thing that came out of my mouth when I saw the guy was to ask him if he was crazy. He told me that he had heard my situation and that he was in the position to help me. I tried to give him the money back but he didn't want it. I couldn't believe what had just happened. This guy, who barely knew me decided to give me five hundred dollars in cash.
I will be forever indebted to this guy, and forever grateful at his amazing act of generosity. This is proof that god exists, and that we can't never guess how he will extend his hand to help us. I learned a powerful lesson today; one that I will never forget: we can't never knows who can be of help in times of need, therefore, it is imperative that we treat everyone with the upmost respect.
We all fall into the habit of judging other people based on their looks, education, race, culture, sex, etc. We do that because of our own internal concepts of what we believe to be true about them. But very often, we are completely wrong by failing to get to know who they really are.
Because of what that guy did, I will be able this week to solve a lot of my problems that I had because of my lack of funds. I thank God for what happened today, and may him bless my friend and his family for his extreaordinary act of generosity.
In other news: I was a little bit more talkative today. Approached people, asked questions, got to know more about them. I even called my mother and wished her goodnight (I call my father tomorrow and everyone else). I went to the gym, stuck to my diet of not eating crap; I had two home-made smoothies. Two peanut butter sandwiches, One big salad, and one smoothie for dinner.
This stuff works!
Thanks for reading.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
(10-365) Guilt
The news of Olga's being pregnant has changed my whole perspective. At first, I was sad and didn't know what to think, but it has been liberating indeed.
I feel free because it was I who left. Even though it was a good decision, it was heart breaking! I was sad that my daughter was never going to have a sister or a brother. She was only 9. But now that Olga has officially moved on and that Hannah is getting a brother/sister, it's a good thing indeed. The guilt that I had about the whole thing has evaporated.
I am happy. This summer is going to be filled with a lot of excitment, and adventures. Things will get a lot better.
When you do what you do with enthusiasm, you do it easier. Enthusiasm is intoxicating and extremely contagious. I didn't know this, but I feel this news has given me the permission to move forward. Sometimes, the fact that we are not moving ahead is because we have not yet allowed ourselves to do so. Give yourself permission to experience a better life. You do deserve better. Guilt is a horrible thing and can be as harmful to our self-development as fear is.
Anthony Robbins said that the quality of our lives is in direct proportions to the quality of our emotional states. We have to acknowledge where we are emotionally and know that we have choices. The thought of being able to choose between one thing or the other is power. When we feel depressed, frustrated, sad or angry or beaten, it is because we are not excercising this power. We can overcome whatever obstacle that we have.
When you do what you do with enthusiasm, you do it easier. Enthusiasm is intoxicating and extremely contagious. I didn't know this, but I feel this news has given me the permission to move forward. Sometimes, the fact that we are not moving ahead is because we have not yet allowed ourselves to do so. Give yourself permission to experience a better life. You do deserve better. Guilt is a horrible thing and can be as harmful to our self-development as fear is.
Anthony Robbins said that the quality of our lives is in direct proportions to the quality of our emotional states. We have to acknowledge where we are emotionally and know that we have choices. The thought of being able to choose between one thing or the other is power. When we feel depressed, frustrated, sad or angry or beaten, it is because we are not excercising this power. We can overcome whatever obstacle that we have.
I don't know what else to write but to say that the stuff that comes out of our mouths create our lives and if we say with emotion, it makes it even more significant. Something magical happened today but i will not talk about it today but later in the week.
Thanks for reading.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
(9-365) Focus
9 days into this project and I one benefit that seems to be paying off is self-awareness.
Since I have made a commitment to write every single day, I keep an eye on myself; sort of like self-observing myself on how I talk, walk, eat, sleep, think, etc. Because of all that I have learned, a new picture of myself is slowly emerging.
Yesterday, I spoke about me not reaching out, missing lots and lots of opportunities. Today, at work, my focus was to make an extra effort to learn more about the people that crossed my way. Even though I was partly frustrated for my lack of customers, I did make an effort to get to know the people I helped a little more. I noticed how much more I need to practice. I noticed that when I am nervous, words don't seem to come out of my mouth, and when I do force myself to say something, It feels like literally pushing the words one by one. At those moments, I don't sound natural, but like an immigrant who recently came off a boat by the waters of Miami.
In other words I don't project what I really am inside out to the world. Yesterday I spoke about how we, with the tool of language, create ourselves. And quite frankly, I am not making a good job at presenting myself as I should.
I am not giving myself enough credit. When I feel comfortable and relaxed, and at ease, I do express myself correctly. And I have to say that when I am relaxed I behave as anyone would behave when relaxed: funny, comfortable, present, resourceful, etc.
Working on the law of attraction is not a walk in the park. Like anything in life, it requires commitment, work, faith, and a lot of focus. I find myself spacing out lots of times, thinking about problems, frustrations, fear, resentment, sadness, loneliness. Most of the time I think "oh my god, I am 37 years old, time is running out for me." Asking myself "At this age, will I ever meet anyone worthwhile? Will I ever get a hold on my finances? Will I get the love and respect I deserve? Will I learn how to get more discipline and have more friends and be respectful to others?" These are my fears. And by just mentioning them on this paragraph, I get the feeling that this is where I am right now. These is what I am attracting into my life at the moment. My focus must be changed.
Thinking positive thoughts every once and a while, or praying from time to time cannot help me in anyway if most of my days are spent on feeding on those fears. Just like I decided to once and for all change my unhealthy diet (I am eating more greens now, less coffee, and more green tea, exercising more, etc.) , I can decide right at this moment to change how I think about what I mentioned above.
I mentioned somewhere on this blog that I was separated from my wife with whom I have a thirteen year-old daughter. For a few months now, she has been asking me from time to time how the divorce process was coming along? I thought that she wanted to be free quickly perhaps because she were planning on getting married to her boyfriend. But tonight she call me out of the blue to tell me the reason she was so interested in getting that out of the way was because she was pregnant. Even though I consciously know we are never going to get back together, and that it was the best decision to separate, I can't lie you and tell you I wasn't shocked to hear the news; I was.
I lived with Olga for 8 years and had a daughter with her. Even though I wish the best for her, it's tough to see her move on. Now I don't have any other excuse but to force my attention on moving forward. I have faith that that will be so.
To give you an example, my daughter Hannah is starting High School on September. I have this summer to sort out my financial issues and help Olga with Hannah's tuition. And it will happen, with God's help.
The focus from now on, is to change all those negative emotional states I mentioned above into all its counterparts, and work on thinking on them on all my waking hours. Instead of feeling uncertain about my future, I declare that my my future is very bright and that it is filled with a lot of joy. Instead of fearing that I am getting old and running out of opportunities, I declare, that God favors me. I am still very young and filled with opportunities. Thousands of men older than me have made it and I have the same opportunities as them. I declare that I am getting a hold on my finances. With God's strength, I can overcome any obstacle and I do it always. I declare that I am surrounded by amazing people. I get along with all my family members. I have deep respect for them. I love them and they love me. I am receiving now their love. I declare that I have a lot of amazing friends, and that it is very easy to meet new people and become their friends every single day. The world is filled with good opportunities. I declare that I have a lot to offer and that God has the right person for me, and that I am now ready to meet her. I am now ready to accept all the blessings of this abundant universe. I am going to pray like this every day. Pray with me.
Thanks for reading.
Since I have made a commitment to write every single day, I keep an eye on myself; sort of like self-observing myself on how I talk, walk, eat, sleep, think, etc. Because of all that I have learned, a new picture of myself is slowly emerging.
Yesterday, I spoke about me not reaching out, missing lots and lots of opportunities. Today, at work, my focus was to make an extra effort to learn more about the people that crossed my way. Even though I was partly frustrated for my lack of customers, I did make an effort to get to know the people I helped a little more. I noticed how much more I need to practice. I noticed that when I am nervous, words don't seem to come out of my mouth, and when I do force myself to say something, It feels like literally pushing the words one by one. At those moments, I don't sound natural, but like an immigrant who recently came off a boat by the waters of Miami.
In other words I don't project what I really am inside out to the world. Yesterday I spoke about how we, with the tool of language, create ourselves. And quite frankly, I am not making a good job at presenting myself as I should.
I am not giving myself enough credit. When I feel comfortable and relaxed, and at ease, I do express myself correctly. And I have to say that when I am relaxed I behave as anyone would behave when relaxed: funny, comfortable, present, resourceful, etc.
Working on the law of attraction is not a walk in the park. Like anything in life, it requires commitment, work, faith, and a lot of focus. I find myself spacing out lots of times, thinking about problems, frustrations, fear, resentment, sadness, loneliness. Most of the time I think "oh my god, I am 37 years old, time is running out for me." Asking myself "At this age, will I ever meet anyone worthwhile? Will I ever get a hold on my finances? Will I get the love and respect I deserve? Will I learn how to get more discipline and have more friends and be respectful to others?" These are my fears. And by just mentioning them on this paragraph, I get the feeling that this is where I am right now. These is what I am attracting into my life at the moment. My focus must be changed.
Thinking positive thoughts every once and a while, or praying from time to time cannot help me in anyway if most of my days are spent on feeding on those fears. Just like I decided to once and for all change my unhealthy diet (I am eating more greens now, less coffee, and more green tea, exercising more, etc.) , I can decide right at this moment to change how I think about what I mentioned above.
I mentioned somewhere on this blog that I was separated from my wife with whom I have a thirteen year-old daughter. For a few months now, she has been asking me from time to time how the divorce process was coming along? I thought that she wanted to be free quickly perhaps because she were planning on getting married to her boyfriend. But tonight she call me out of the blue to tell me the reason she was so interested in getting that out of the way was because she was pregnant. Even though I consciously know we are never going to get back together, and that it was the best decision to separate, I can't lie you and tell you I wasn't shocked to hear the news; I was.
I lived with Olga for 8 years and had a daughter with her. Even though I wish the best for her, it's tough to see her move on. Now I don't have any other excuse but to force my attention on moving forward. I have faith that that will be so.
To give you an example, my daughter Hannah is starting High School on September. I have this summer to sort out my financial issues and help Olga with Hannah's tuition. And it will happen, with God's help.
The focus from now on, is to change all those negative emotional states I mentioned above into all its counterparts, and work on thinking on them on all my waking hours. Instead of feeling uncertain about my future, I declare that my my future is very bright and that it is filled with a lot of joy. Instead of fearing that I am getting old and running out of opportunities, I declare, that God favors me. I am still very young and filled with opportunities. Thousands of men older than me have made it and I have the same opportunities as them. I declare that I am getting a hold on my finances. With God's strength, I can overcome any obstacle and I do it always. I declare that I am surrounded by amazing people. I get along with all my family members. I have deep respect for them. I love them and they love me. I am receiving now their love. I declare that I have a lot of amazing friends, and that it is very easy to meet new people and become their friends every single day. The world is filled with good opportunities. I declare that I have a lot to offer and that God has the right person for me, and that I am now ready to meet her. I am now ready to accept all the blessings of this abundant universe. I am going to pray like this every day. Pray with me.
Thanks for reading.
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