Tuesday, March 29, 2011

(27-365) Setting Goals...

Today I was thinking about my photography business and the things that I needed to focus on so I could be on my way to achieving my goals in becoming a very successful photographer.

In thinking about my strengths and weakness, I came up with these:

Strengths:

1-The ability to speak English and Spanish.
2-Having a new canon slr full-frame sensor camera with 21 mp.
3-An excellent lens.
4-Adequate transportation.
5-Two portable flash units and two battery units, etc.
6-A very likable personality.
7-An excellent ability to photograph the perfect moment, an emotion, a sudden laughter, etc.
8-Kids like me.


Weaknesses:  (what my competitors have that I don't)

1-Not having a studio space.
2-Not living close to where my desired customers live, which makes it inconvenient for them to visit me.
3-Not having the necessary equipment that most photographers have: An extra camera body, 3 professional lenses, 5 professional quality light strobes, etc.
4-Not having an assistant.
5-A disorganized photo library.
6-Not having an accounting software and a laptop to perform my daily  necessary operations.
7-Not having a complete knowledge of the technical aspects of my most vital equipment:  flash units, how they work,  all the features of my new camera,  etc.
8-Not taking advantage of the New York Institute of Photography by not finishing the course, not doing the homework,  not contacting my assigned professor for vital questions, etc.
9-Not being an active member of a professional photography organization which could give me the opportunity of getting to know the people in my industry that could help me in getting my foot off the ground.
10-Not participating in any networking events.
11-A mountain of debt.


My focus should be in creating a plan to achieve all those points and marrying the plan.  This gives a lot of things to think about.

I know I can succeed.  I know I can become a professional photographer,  get out of retail, get out of debt, complete my divorce to Olga, finish my photography classes, get fit, get my finances together,  gain the respect of others, get closer to my family, start dating, fall in love, and enjoy life to the fullest.  It's not impossible.  All I have to do is to actively work with every level of my being so I can achieve each and every goal mentioned above.   It's like going to the gym.  If I don't exercise,  I won't see results.  If I sit around waiting for something to happen, waiting to be in a better mood so I can exercise,  postponing the workouts for better days, my dreams of becoming fit will never materialize.

Today I started the gym again.  I made the decision to completely disconnect myself from past lovers.  Not because I hate them,  but because, as I see it,  there was a reason I stopped seeing them in the first place,  and my need to seek them is a testament to myself that there is anybody else out there,  that I can only settle for what's easy, and so on.  So I will quit the habit of contacting those people and look at the future.  Sometimes it is better to leave those things that belong to the past in their right place.  I am burning those bridges for good.


Thanks for reading.

Hans.

Monday, March 28, 2011

(26-365) Asking...

I work at SAKS FIFTH AVENUE.    I WORK in the 5th floor contemporary shoe floor.  When I've got that job, I thought I was going to make tons of money, but I was wrong.  This entry will tell you what happened.

When I was offered to work for SAKS, I was already training to work for Jeffreys.  Jeffreys is a very exclusive boutique located in the meat packing district of Manhattan.  I was guaranteed to make at least 85,000-100,0000 dollars a year.   Why I declined that incredible opportunity?  Because I thought Saks was going to be like a second bergdorfs, and it wasn't.  

There were problems with my department.  My floor mananger didn't have any courage.  The stock room manager was kid that didn't now much about running a  stock room properly.  He didn't care about organizing the shoes by vendor color and size.  The store was or still practically hiring everyone that is unemployed in New York City.  In a commission environment, having tons of people competing with you is just not only unfair, but bad for business.  So these were some of the problems that I had working for there.  My co-workers had no other choice but to complain among each other about whatever they thought was screwed-up about our workplace.  I decided to do something different.  

I wrote a letter to the president, and the letter that I wrote was this: 

Dear Ms. President, 

My name is Hans Gonzalez, I work on the contemporary shoe salon on the 5th floor.  I have been working here since last October.  With this letter, I wanted to bring your attention to my department  and express the concerns that we all have.

I have been working in retail for about 14 years now, and honestly, never seen some many disatisfied people in one department.  Since I started work here a little bit over 5 months now,  5 or more people have left the floor.  Everyone i ask expresses the same feeling.   The problems that we complain about are not many, but they are very serious problems, and surprisingly, they have very easy solutions.  But it seems the decision-makers that could easily create the changes that are needed not only for us the associates, but for Saks as well, are too busy with other things, or have no interest whatsoever.  We need to create  an environment that is in accordance with Saks' mission statement: "A great place to work, a great place to shop, and a great place to invest." 
Our problems are these:   The size of our floor can only hold 15-18 people max.  We have 24 and counting.  Having lots and lots of people makes it extremely difficult for everyone that work here and the more people that you bring, the less money we all make.  Think about it!  What would you say, if your boss tell you that your salary next year will have to be cut in half?  Living in New York is extremely expensive and we all have bills and responsibilities.  I hear people say that just to pay their rent they had to cash out their 401k, ask money from relatives, etc.  I for one had to stop paying child support in more than one occation because at times, I wasn't making any money at all.  Sure we can all become sharks and struggle for survival,  but what does it say about Saks Fifth Avenue?  How would our customer perceive us if every time they come to shop, more and more people are on the floor, and the people that were here for a long time,  had to leave to other companies?

The second problem is our stock room.  There is just not enough place to stack so many shoes.  It is extremely difficult to find shoes in here when the "organized not only by the color of the vendor's boxes, but by the color, style and size" is def. not in the vocabulary of the people in charge of running it.    Hundreds of thousands of dollars are lost each year just because of all the shoes that we are never never able to find.  Talk about putting a price to a simple problem!

We have other issues, but if only these two were addressed and taken care of,  our department would transform overnight into a really enjoyable place to work.  What we want will not only benefit us the employees, it will also benefit our level of productivity,  sense of pride,  our customer's perception of the department, sale volume,  and general satisfaction.  Wouldn't be good to double our sales in a single year? 
Sincerely yours,
Hans Gonzalez

I WROTE this letter.  TWO days later,  the stockroom was organized.  Two days later,  my boss, bring me up to her office to thank me that I wrote that letter and to promise me that things were going to change.  She basically asked me to be patient about it.

What I want to do with this post is to show you that complaining to your friends about your life doesn't work.  It might give you a outlet to escape, but it doesn't give you any power.   What does help is for you to talk about the right people about what you want to happen, making a request for them to hear to you and see the results.

Thanks for reading.  

Sunday, March 20, 2011

(25-365) Sense of direction...

I started this blog with the promise to write every day about my experiences regarding the law of attraction.
For the last three days or so, I haven't written anything.  I guess I was amiss with the whole thing or had the feeling I wasn't going anywhere with it, until today.

This morning I heard the famous speaker Anthony Robbins talk about how simple adjustments, tiny steps, or very small changes to our personality, can completly change the direction of our entire lives.

It is a simple, yet very powerful lesson.  Our lives follow a pattern,  the result of our daily actions, which in turn are the result of our thoughts.   Changing how we think will cause the direction of our lives to change.

I've heard that we all want the big changes in our lives, and that we don't always pay attention to the small changes that can make the big changes take place.   Having said that,  what small changes can I make?

Calling people by their actual names.  It's a bad habit of mine not to use people's names when I get to know them, I guess because my mind thinks that by doing so is a sign of actually being close to the person.  However, people love the sound of their names more than anything else.  Using it in conversations is  the smart thing to do  always.

Thinking before speaking.   With this I mean making sure that I sound clear every time I say something, keeping a close check to my feelings.  The image that we project to the world is what determines how people perceive us, and their perception is who we ultimately are.  What everyone thinks  we are at any given time is what we are, regardless of what we think of ourselves to be.

Communicating with my loved ones.  Once I heard that most of our relationships live only in memory.  When we are not in communication with someone for a long time we are not relating with that person, period.    Regardless of what we are in blood,  the actual relationship exists only in our memory.  It is when we take the time to be with people what makes the relationship with them real.  Keep this in mind.

This list will continue in further blogs,  but I think you get the sense of what I am trying to get at.  The biggest changes in our lives take place as a result of the small changes that we make on a daily basis.

Thanks for reading.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

(23,24 out of 365) Focusing

Last night was the first night I broke my promise of blogging every day.

Last night I went to bed at 4 am working on my site thegoldenmile.net.  I was struck to find out that I had not taken advantage of keyword search.  I search my page for keywords and found none.  No wonder my page has not generated any revenue yet!

So I decided to start writing lots and lots of keywords.  I am really focusing on marketing my photography services in way that I nave never done it before, and for that I have to say, I am really happy.   I notice that I am paying attention to who could be a potential customer and I am introducing myself to them as a professional photographer.  I give them my card and they go "wow."  :-)

Take care.

Hans.

Monday, March 14, 2011

(22-365) Time

I am finding new ways to deal with my time.  I eliminated the habit of giving excuses of not having enough time of reaching my goals and dreams.  I am now in control of my destiny, therefore,  I the future is bright. I thanks God for his divine guidance and perfect self-expression.  Every day and in a every way,  I am getting better and better.  I am now opening my eyes to new and exciting posibilities.  I am surrounded with love, good friends, and good relatives.
Thank You God for always being there for me.

Thank You Lord.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

(21-365) Visualization

Visualization is very simple:  See youself as you wish to be and imagine having the things you wish to have.   It is evident, that if you can't see yourself owning that home,  having those friends, or marrying that kind of person,  your chances of bringing those things to your experience are slim.  This post is about visulation.

Besides working at Saks in the shoe department,  I am a photographer.  I have been taking pictures for quite some time, however, I haven't managed to make it a career.   Some time ago, I started a blog  with the intention of sharing my experiences of becoming a full-time photographer.  The blog took a turn and became an outlet for my need to share my views on areas such as philosphy, psychology, etc.  In other words,  it failed in its primary intention.

But I haven't stopped taking pictures.  the thing that has helped me continue is the feedback that I receive from the people that look at my photographs.  They really like my eye, and say I am a very talented photographer.  I could have been  a full-time photographer already.    I have had the money and education materials to make that a reality, but something in me,  kept me from making my dream of becoming independent not come true.

That thing is my self-image,  how I see myself.  I know that when I really want something to be done, and something right,  I get it done.   For example,  I've had had made lots of business cards in the past, and they have not been well perceived.   Two weeks ago,  I decided to create a truly remarkable business card,  I did it and it is that one that you see in the picture.  It folds down, and it has another image in the back, it is a gorgeous business card.

I worked with a  semi-professional Canon Digital SLR camera.   Canon introduced a full-frame SLR digital camera two or three years ago. It was a dream of mine to own one, but didn't think it was wise to spend 2,500-3,000usd on a camera if I wasn't making any money in it.  For me,  owning such camera was a sign that I was already a professional photographer and that I was making the money to justify making such an investment, I was wrong!

After receiving my income tax check,  I was about to make the same mistake with the money I did in 2009 by blowing  it all on trips to the Dominican Republic.  Instead,  I decided to buy the Canon 5D Mark II full-frame professional camera.     I believe it was a very smart decision.

Having a professional camera makes me look like the professional that I am,   which allows me to justify charging more for my services that I deserve as a result.  I know that I have to buy more equipment, and that there are a lot of other things that need to be done,  but one thing for certain, I need to see myself succeeding.

If deep down inside I don't feel that I deserve what I want,  no matter how many cameras I buy, or how much money I have at my disposal, the odds of me becoming a professional photographer are pretty much very slim.  I need see myself as having all the equipment that I need and also working as a truly professional photograher.

A few months ago, I posted a picture of the camera that I wanted on the wall in my bedroom.  At the time I did it I was going through some huge financial problems, frankly, I didn't know how I was going to be able to afford that camera.  Two or three months later,  it is in my hands.  


Thanks for reading, good night.

Hans.

Friday, March 11, 2011

(20-365 do over) Too complex to have a Title.

I am re-writing the post from yesterday today Saturday March 12, 2011.   When I wrote it, I was very angry and said things I shouldn't have, for that I appologize.

The teachings of the law of attraction are very clear:  Your thoughts create you destiny.  But there is a lot of work to be done.  Our lives are pretty clomplex and merely to do some excersises here and there is not enough.  Getting to know ourselves is very critical, and requires a lot of self-observation, meditation,  and sacrifice.

The reason I want to succeed doing this project is because I want to achieve happiness, and be able to help others such as my sisters, my father and mother live better than what they are living right now.

It is of supreme importance, that we pay close attention to our speech.  What we say, and how we say it.
This project has made me take a closer look at how I interact with others.  At times when I feel at ease,  I can communicate very well and I am perceived as someone that is very intelligent, resourceful, and smart.  But when I don't feel at ease,  it is as though I am an ESL student.  I had mentioned this in earlier postings.

I have been struggling for some time to handle my time a little better.  Because of not keeping a calendar, time seems to be slipping from my fingers.  I have to learn how to distribute my free time better this week and create the habit of using my iphone to make sure that the important things that I've been wanting to do, I get them done.  Things like studying photography, posting on ebay,  going to the gym, going to the post office, reading other books and magazines, keeping up with the trends in my field, visiting relatives and friends,  calling people,  meditiation and prayer, etc.  

Every day that I write on this, I see more and more the importance of taking my life more seriously and being more diligent on just about everything.

Thanks for reading.

Hans.  

Thursday, March 10, 2011

(19-365)

I promised I was going to write every day, but I have no idea what to say.

It was a nice day at work.  I felt as if I was at Bergdorf's, the way I behaved with customers anyway.  I am unique,  I know.    If you are making 100 times more than me, fuck you for comparing yourself with me.  pick someone else to delight in your miserable existence.

I had a date I was looking forward to and it got cancelled.  Instead of getting angry or depressed,  I decided to think different.  Frankly,  I don't give myself the credit I deserve

Fuck,  I don't know what to write,   sorry people.  I am going to bed.  My Sister Biembenida is 40 today.   it is a rainy day in New York City.   I went to church and prayed.  I prayed so I could get the fuck away from my luck.  Sorry.  I remember this day as the day I had nothing meaningful to say.  

My ex wife is pregnant.  My daughter is 13.  I have no girlfriend.  My fiannces are in turmoil.  My job I hate.  How do you want me to think?

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

(18-365) Fear

Fear is a big subject to talk about in just one entry, however, the type of fear that I am talking about is the one that prevents us from expressing ourselves with authority and self-confidence; in other words, fearless.

Fear is a huge problem of mine.  It is embedded in my speech and manifests itself in how I speak,  what I speak and how I express myself.   I want to bring attention to this issue of fear so that I can have a better understanding of its effects in my life.

When I write something,  I make sure that I let my thoughts come out and not think of it too much until I finish saying what I want to say.  Before I let anyone to read it, I first proof read what I wrote,  and fix all the mistakes.  In talking, however,  I don't have that luxury.  My words are taken as the final product as soon as they come out of my mouth.  I can easily see how important it is to really think of what I am going to say before I say it.

Even thought I do this sometimes, the habit of thinking before talking is not in my repertoire.  I don't necessarily refer to the words and sentences that we use in our every day language,  but the feelings behind our sentences.  This is especially evident when I ask questions or make requests.  If fear is overwhelming,  anything that comes out of my mouth is bound to be misunderstood due to the fact that fear forces my words to be unclear  and my actions to be bizzare; weird to comprehend.

From now on, every time I decide to do something,  I will willingly commit my heart to it so I can get it.    Next time I find someone very attractive,  I will go for the price and not chicken out.  If photography is my next thing,  I will give my heart to it.  I will do what I need to do to succeed.  I will talk to the right people and get all my questions answered so that I will have no more excuse to be extremely successful.  I will not fear success anymore.


Thanks for reading.
 

P.S.  Sorry for all the "I's"

Hans.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

(17-365) Thinking...

Today was a very slow day at Saks, nothing exciting happened there, after Saks, I came home, made something to eat and went to the gym. After that I  sat in the computer the whole night (not on facebook).  It was not a really nice day anyway.

Thinking habits are hard to break.   I don't know if the reason I don't have a lot of time to do what I want to do is due to the fact that I am just screaming that all the time, or because am really not taking full advantage of all my free time.  Since what we think and say becomes true,  then I have to stop declaring those things that don't serve me; things like "there is just not enough time."

I kept my promised and texted a lot of people and said hi, and most of them held a brief conversation with me, which was good, but not good enough.  I have to figure this "I don't have time, money, energy" problem and come up with a really good solution now!  That's all I have.


Thanks for reading.

Monday, March 7, 2011

(15-365) The difference between positive and a negative mentality

Today was my first day at Saks.  After spending three days at home off from work I realized how great it is to be away from such a negative environment.  Having the habit of thinking negative thoughts is a very hard thing to come out of.  After all that I have read about the power of negative thoughts, the law of attraction, and the dynamics of getting what one wants,  it is mind blowing that I let myself get drawn to that horrible way of being.

For five months or so, I was in misery.  I couldn't see past my plight.  I was moneyless,  powerless, depressed,  and in want.  I told my story to everyone that lent me his or her ear.  I dwelt on the feeling of not being able to do what I wanted for a very long time.  I didn't even have money to buy gas.  But when I started changing the way I talked, a feeling of power started to emerge.  

I can clearly see now how powerful thought is.  Most people, when they talk very negative always justify their perception of reality as the real thing.   If you were to tell them that they were worsening their experience by the words that came out of their mouth, they would tell you that they are not negative people,  but realists.   What they don't know, is that what they see is in effect a creation of their minds.

Today I went to work with a positive outlook, and surprisingly had the best day I had in months.  I could still hear in the background the negative conversations of my co-workers,  and saw how they fed off from that misery.   I chose not to take part of it.  I communicated with my customers; impregnating a very positive, humorous personality and leaving them feeling a little better than what they felt when they first saw me.  It was good. I plan to stay that way.  

There is no reason for me to fall back on the habit of being miserable.  I have plenty of things to sell on eBay, the good health,  and energy to avoid that to happen.  I am perfectly capable not only on having enough to survive,  but on having control of my finances once and for all.  I am now building my future and my resources.  I thank God for being  the provider of my life.

I am very happy that I changed my diet.  I once heard that the people of a rich neighborhood and the ones from a poor neighborhood think differently because they eat differently.  Are people's lives a product of their diets or are their diets a product of their lives?  I think both are very connected.  When you change one the other is changed as well.  Change does not happen automatically.  But with increased strength, mental energy and good health, it is fair to say that our actions, however trivial, tend to have a powerful effect in our lives.

I have to make it a habit to communicate with my family.  Tomorrow I am going to start texting them more often and communicate through that first,   then little by little I will include calling them and checking up on them.  The ultimate goal in that respect will be to spend more time with most of them.

Thanks for reading, good night.


Hans.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

(14-365) Excuses excuses excuses

It's 2:08am.  I am supposed to be dead asleep, but because of my promise of doing a blog entry once a day, here we go.

Today was a very wet day in New York City.  I stayed home most of the day and decided to do a little cleaning.  I live in a fairly large apartment,  two bedrooms,  one bath, one kitchen,  and one large living room.  I started organizing my closets, and spent the whole day doing so.   The reason I am taking so long to organize my two closets (haven't finished),  is because of all the eBay stuff I had stored there.

For the last 5 or so months,  I have been complaining that I don't make enough money to support myself.  Complaining that all my doors are closed; that opportunities have not come up.  The feeling is terrible.  Not having enough money to buy what you need to buy, and constantly be in want can make any person go over the edge from time to time.  It kept me in want  not so much for my lack of opportunities, but becase of how I feeling inside.

I had lots of opportunities; interviews with fine companies, which made me scratch my head in more than one occasion when they didn't hire me.   It is definitely better said than done,  but when we are putting out the vibration of misery and want,  it is very difficult to see the many opportunities that surrounds us.

I had made plans to go the Dominican Republic on a short trip so I could see the beach, take pictures and drink lots and lots of rhum.  I renewed my passport, and took those days off from work,  but at the last minute,  I said to myself "Hans,  what in the world do you think you are going to do?"  I said that because for a long time, I had been meaning to replace my Canon 50D SLR camera for a 5D Mark II, the full sensor, professional SLR.  I wanted that camera because once a photographer has a 5D Mark II,  he or she is considered to be a professional photographer, and therefore he is taken seriously.  So I decided against not going to my home country and bought the camera instead.  I also put my old 50D up for sale on ebay and craigslist for 750.00.  In actuality,  I will be only investing around 1500 on the new camera, the same that I would have spent on rhum and women.

While I was organizing the closets,  I noticed I have hundreds of pieces of clothing still not listed online.  I thought to myself "If money is one of the issues in your life Hans, why on earth don't you put all these things up for sale? "  I was always too busy to do it, too tired,  not in the mood, etc.  But maybe, since my main object of attetion was the fact that I lack money and not that I wanted money,  making it was not so much in tune with how I was feeling at the time: like a poor bastard.  That feeling (we are talking about the law of attraction, pay attention) also was making my checks go from 700 dollars a week to less than 200.  It was an awful feeling indeed.

But thanks to my Income Tax refund, I was able to pay lots of bills,  buy clothes,  and the new camera.  I I am going to get all the necessary gear that I need to promote myself and not have the feeling that I need this, or that I need that, etc.  I am going to work my ass off from now on.   I decided to quit chatting on facebook,  it was taking a lot of my time.  And I will work on ebay every single day of the week.  I will also read my industry books,  join professional organizations, network with other people,  continue to work on rebuilding my relationship with my family members,  my exercise routine, and my love life.

Today was a very good day.

Thanks for reading, good night.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

(13-365) Bad habits...

We are indeed creatures of habits.  

It is true.  If you don't make a plan and stick to it,  you just follow your habits.  Today I took my daughter to Costco to buy a lot of much-needed supplies.  I had a lot of things planned for today,  and time just evaporated, couldn't do much of it, habit is a bitch!

My mother, my father,  my little sister Stephanie,  my aunts...   I could have arranged to visit them, but somehow, I just didn't.  Was it because I didn't want to see them or because I am not used to seeing them.
A habit must be created.  Just as going to the gym is a habit,  visiting/calling your parents is a habit as well.

Tomorrow I have off.  I will go to the gym (didnt go today), and I will arrange to see my little half-sister, brothers, and father.  I haven't seen him in a long time.  I have to make a commitment to see the most important people of my life in a regular basis.  This will be so.

I decided to make Saturdays  or Sunday my break-my-diet days.  I will pick one or the other from week to week.  And I am going to lift weights every other day.  The days that I am not lifting weights I am going to spend it doing areobic excersises.  One hour at least.  As for diet,  I am going to continue on eating salads, smoothies, lots of tea and water.


Thanks for reading.

Friday, March 4, 2011

(12-365) Expect the best!

New beginnings...

Lots of people go through rough times. But the difference between those that get over it and the ones that don't is in their thinking.

If you are going through a rough time and hate what you are going through,  I feel your pain, it's a tough situation indeed.  But if you see the situation temporary and you are expecting things to get a lot better,  I guarantee you,  they will.

I own a Volkswagen Passat 2003,  and since December of last year, I haven't driven the car.  It has a big problem,  the heater doesn't work.  The though of spending money to fix it was an impossibility.  For months, I was going to work making less than enough to make ends meet.   But I never considered myself a failure,  but that I was going through a very rough time, a temporary one.  

Today I received my income tax refund.  For the first time in months,  I will be able to pay for the things that I need to help my business move forward.  I need new lenses,  new clothes,  a new camera, a laptop computer, new equipment,  everything is going to happen this month, and I am excited that it will be so. God is great.

Today is a day of celebration.  It is a day of greatness.  I have enough money to finally fix the problems that I have with my car,  by my plain tickets,  pay bills,  buy groceries,  clothes, etc.   Isnt' that great?  I saw my daughter today and told her I was going to take her shopping on Sunday.

The business cards that I made are amazing.  It is going to be a great year indeed.  I expect that it will be so.

Thanks for reading.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

(11-365) Treat everyone with the upmost respect


At the store where I work I have been dealing with a big problem:  In a small footwear department where I sell contemporary designer women shoes on commission, I have to work along with twenty-five other people, which is a challenge because the business that our department generates, nor its size is enough to justify the decision by the management for hiring so many employees.   Furthermore,  the way our pay is set up adds insult to injury; they pay us 10% commission on the shoes that we sell with a draw of 10.00 per hour.  At the end of the week,  if our commission exceeds our draw, we get pay for the draw plus the commission, but if our  draw exceeds our commission,  the store pays us the draw, which is the amount of hours at 10 p/h, but our earnings suffer a beating the next time we make the draw; the store takes that money back on the next paycheck.  Essentially,  what the stores pays us for failing to make the draw is nothing but a loan;  the week we don't make the draw, we work for free.
  
This  system can be tolerated in a fair-working environment, but when you are competing with a very large number of co-workers, it is a very challenging situation indeed. 

A few days ago,  me and one other co-worker were having a small conversation on the sales floor while there were customers in it.   One customer behind my co-worker addressed me and said "excuse me" because she needed help with a shoe.   My co-worker immediately turned to her, grabbed the shoe from her hand and proceeded to wait on her.  I stood there speechless that he didn't have any consideration to the fact that I was there facing the customer and that I was already going to help her.   After that incident, I confronted my friend and told him never to do that again.   We had a long discussion and it turned out that he didn't know that what he was doing was inappropriate.

A few hours later, I saw him in the lunchroom and had another conversation.  I explained to him why I was so frustrated at the situation that had just taken place.  I told him that I had accepted that position because I thought it was going to be a great opportunity.  I also told him that for the past 5 weeks,  my checks have been extremely low, and that it was not enough for me to make ends meet.  I told him that sometimes I didn't even have money to pay for child support, and that the only feasible solution for me was to get another job.  We ended the conversation in good terms.  He  promised  me to get me in touch with one of his friends so that she could help me with my photography work that I do on the side.   A day later he invited me to lunch.  We agreed to go today,  but ended up forgetting about it because of all the frustrations and long meetings that took place.

At one point while on my break,   I noticed that he approaching me from behind to handle me an envelope.  He put it in my suit pocket and told me not to tell anyone that he gave me that.  I said thanks without turning my back (I was on the computer, but frankly didn't know what to do at the time, didn't want to make a scene)  I am thinking to myself,  maybe is 20 bucks.  I opened the envelope and see five one-hundred dollar bills inside.  I was speechless.  I didn't know what to say, think, or do at the moment, frozen by what had taken place.

The first thing that came out of my mouth when I saw the guy was to ask him if he was crazy.  He told me that he had heard my situation and that he was in the position to help me.  I tried to give him the money back but he didn't want it.  I couldn't believe what had just happened.  This guy, who barely knew me decided to give me five hundred dollars in cash.

I will be forever indebted to this guy, and forever grateful at his amazing act of generosity. This is proof that god exists, and that we can't never guess how he will extend his hand to help us.    I learned a powerful lesson today; one that I will never forget:  we  can't  never knows who can be of help in times of need, therefore,  it is imperative that we treat everyone with the upmost respect.

We all fall into the habit of judging other people based on their looks, education, race, culture, sex, etc. We do that because of our own internal concepts of what we believe to be true about them.  But very often, we are completely wrong by failing to get to know who they really are.

Because of what that guy did,  I will be able this week to solve a lot of my problems that I had because of my lack of funds.   I thank God for what happened today, and may him bless my friend and his family  for his extreaordinary act of generosity.



In other news:  I was a little bit more talkative today.  Approached people, asked questions, got to know more about them.  I even called my mother and wished her goodnight (I call my father tomorrow and everyone else).  I went to the gym,  stuck to my diet of not eating crap;  I had two home-made smoothies.  Two peanut butter sandwiches,  One big salad,  and one smoothie for dinner.

This stuff works!

Thanks for reading.


Wednesday, March 2, 2011

(10-365) Guilt


The news of Olga's being pregnant has changed my whole perspective.  At first, I was sad and didn't know what to think, but it has been liberating indeed.

I feel free because it was I who left.  Even though it was a good decision, it was heart breaking!  I was sad that my daughter was never going to have  a sister or a brother.  She was only 9.  But now that Olga has officially moved on and that Hannah is  getting a brother/sister,  it's a good thing indeed.  The guilt that I had about the whole thing has evaporated.

I am happy.  This summer is going to be filled with a lot of excitment, and adventures.  Things will  get a lot better.

When you do what you do with enthusiasm,  you do it easier.  Enthusiasm is intoxicating and extremely contagious.  I didn't know this, but I feel this news has given me the permission to move forward.  Sometimes,  the fact that we are not moving ahead is because we have not yet allowed ourselves to do so.  Give yourself permission to experience a better life.  You do deserve better.  Guilt is a horrible thing and can be as harmful to our self-development as fear is.

Anthony Robbins said that the quality of our lives is in direct proportions to the quality of our emotional states.  We have to acknowledge where we are emotionally and know that we have choices.  The thought of being able to choose between one thing or the other is power.  When we feel depressed, frustrated, sad or angry or beaten, it is because we are not excercising this power.  We can overcome whatever obstacle that we have.

I don't know what else to write but to say that the stuff that comes out of our mouths create our lives and if we say with emotion,  it makes it even more significant.  Something magical happened today but i will not talk about it today but later in the week.  


Thanks for reading. 

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

(9-365) Focus

9 days into this project and I one benefit that seems to be paying off is self-awareness.

Since I have made a commitment to write every single day,  I keep an eye on myself; sort of like self-observing myself on how I talk, walk, eat, sleep, think, etc.   Because of all that I have learned,  a new picture of myself is slowly emerging.

Yesterday, I spoke about me not reaching out, missing lots and lots of opportunities.  Today, at work, my focus was to make an extra effort to learn more about the people that crossed my way.  Even though I was partly frustrated for my lack of customers,  I did make an effort to get to know the people I helped a little more.  I noticed how much more I need to practice.  I noticed that when I am nervous, words don't seem to come out of my mouth, and when I do force myself to say something,  It feels like literally pushing the words one by one.  At those moments,  I don't sound natural, but like an immigrant who recently came off a boat by the waters of Miami.

In other words I don't project what I really am inside out to the world.  Yesterday I spoke about how we, with the tool of language, create ourselves.  And quite frankly,  I am not making a good job at presenting myself as I should.

I am not giving myself enough credit.  When I feel comfortable and relaxed, and at ease, I do express myself correctly.    And I have to say that when I am relaxed I behave as anyone would behave when relaxed: funny, comfortable,  present,  resourceful, etc.

Working on the law of attraction is not a walk in the park.  Like anything in life, it requires commitment, work, faith, and a lot of focus.  I find myself spacing out lots of times, thinking about problems,  frustrations,  fear,  resentment,  sadness, loneliness.  Most of the time I think "oh my god, I am 37 years old, time is running out for me." Asking myself "At this age, will I ever meet anyone worthwhile?  Will I ever get a hold on my finances?  Will I get the love and respect I deserve?  Will I learn how to get more discipline and have more friends and be respectful to others?"  These are my fears.  And by just mentioning them on this paragraph, I get the feeling that this is where I am right now.  These is what I am attracting into my life at the moment.  My focus must be changed.

Thinking positive thoughts every once and a while, or praying from time to time cannot help me in anyway if most of my days are spent on feeding on those fears.  Just like I decided to once and for all change my unhealthy diet (I am eating more greens now, less coffee, and more green tea,  exercising more, etc.) , I can decide right at this moment to change how I think about what I mentioned above.

I mentioned somewhere on this blog that I was separated from my wife with whom I have a thirteen year-old daughter.   For a few months now, she has been asking me from time to time how the  divorce process was coming along?  I thought that she wanted to be free quickly perhaps because she were planning on getting married to her boyfriend.  But tonight she call me out of the blue to tell me the reason she was so interested in getting that out of the way was because she was pregnant.  Even though I consciously know we are never going to get back together,  and that it was the best decision to separate,  I can't lie you and tell you I wasn't shocked to hear the news; I was.

I lived with Olga for 8 years and had a daughter with her.  Even though I wish the best for her,  it's tough to see her move on.  Now I don't have any other excuse but to force my attention on moving forward.  I have faith that that will be so.

To give you an example,  my daughter Hannah is starting High School on September.  I have this summer to sort out my financial issues and help Olga with Hannah's tuition.   And it will happen, with God's help.

The focus from now on, is to change all those negative emotional states I mentioned above into all its counterparts, and work on thinking on them on all my waking hours.  Instead of feeling uncertain about my future, I declare that my my future is very bright and that it is filled with a lot of joy.  Instead of fearing that I am getting old and running out of opportunities, I declare,  that God favors me.  I am still very young and filled with opportunities.  Thousands of men older than me have made it and I have the same opportunities as them.  I declare that I am getting a hold on my finances.  With God's strength, I can overcome any obstacle and I do it always.  I declare that I am surrounded by amazing people.  I get along with all my family members.  I have deep respect for them.  I love them and they love me.  I am receiving now their love.  I declare that I have a lot of amazing friends, and that it is very easy to meet new people  and become their friends every single day.  The world is filled with good opportunities.  I declare that I have a lot to offer and that God has the right person for me, and that I am now ready to meet her.  I am now ready to accept all the blessings of this abundant universe.  I am going to pray like this every day.  Pray with me.

Thanks for reading.

Monday, February 28, 2011

(8-365) The difference between perception and reality

A wise man once said "most of our relationships live only in memory."

When the mind is on automatic pilot,  it cannot tolerate the feeling of not knowing.   It takes what is known of a thing or a person and fills up the rest with personal opinion.  When those opinion are not questioned,  they are assumed to be facts, and that's where the whole problem of knowing fact from fiction arises.

I believe that I havent taken the time to get to know anyone.  I haven't reached out to people because of my own beliefs and assumptions of how people are.  Fear takes hold of my being and allow me to pretend that the reason I don't really get to know anyone probably is because It is not the right thing to do, or perhaps because I am waiting for a safe,  non-embarassing way to make my move.

It also has to do with self-aceptance.  When we meet new people,  we naturally talk about ourselves.  If we don't like who we are, getting to know people forces us to come face to face with an image of ourselves.  And sometimes, we are horrified by the thought of what we might see.

The way we present ourselves is by talking.  It is with the tool of language that people naturally make themselves known.  We basically create ourselves by talking.  When people don't talk to one another,  or when a person doesn't bother to ask questions,  he/she is confident that what he thinks he knows about the person or thing is pure fact, or simply, he is too lazy to find out.

Fear prevents people from moving forward.  Fear is born out of our need to avoid pain at all costs.  When we allow our minds to choose for us,  we live in a fantasy world where danger lurks at every corner and the best thing to do, is nothing.

Introducing yourself to a new person can be the best thing that can happen to you on that day.  But we don't do it because the act makes us feel uncomfortable.  In my line of work, I miss the opportunity of meeting someone new and making a connection EVERY SINGLE DAY.  I work at Saks fifth avenue selling shoes, and every day I am forced to interact with people that, most often than not, will only see once in my entire life.  I have an opportunity to meet and get to know a ton of people if I decide to stop complaining and really step out of my protective shell to explore what is around.

Most of our relationships live only in our memory.  We have a lot of people in our family among our close relatives that we have not yet get to know.   "So and so is my cousin"  But when was the last time you had a conversation with your cousin?  A real conversation?  When was the last time you had a conversation with your mom where you didn't just use one question involving a yes or not response?

The unvierse is for us and is open and ready at our disposal.   All we need to do is go out and explore it.  You and I, let us challenge our assumptions and allow ourselves for the first time to be surprised by what we'll find.

In other news:  

Today was my first day of going to the gym.  I am going to go to the gym 5 times a week from now on.  And  for the first time in my life,  I am eating greens for lunch and dinner.  I am also gradually lowering my intake of coffee and drinking green tea instead.  It's my second day, but it is one of those feelings that forces you to say "it's time!"  And I started.

Thanks for reading.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

(7-365) Egoes...

I had to go to work today at Saks.   I hated it.  I wished I was off.  I would have accomplished more at home than at work.  I was not at all present.   I wasn't focused on selling.  My mind was not there.  

At lunch time, for the first time in my life,  I chose to eat SALAD.  I did that because I want to lose some weight for the summer.  I am not overweight.   The picture that you see is from 4 years ago.  I am almost like that same except of a  little gut that I want to get rid off.  :)  

As I was eating the salad,  I was thinking to myself, "damn,  I am eating a salad."  I realized, that I need to get fit,  I not only need to hit the gym, but I need to change the way I eat as well, wich is VEEEERY WRONG.  I EAT mucho malo, bad.  I drink coffee during the day as if it was water.  I don't eat a lot of veggies, nor fruits.  That needs to change and it will.  

The title of this post is egoes.  Before I get to that,  I want to share with you something amazed me:  when I was about 15,  I was present at a seminar about nutrition.  The speaker said something that I haven't been able to forget ever since.  He said "the poor and the rich think different because they eat different. "  Now,  I don't mean that I took this insight to heart.  Had I done that,  I would have probably taken very serious the issue of taking care of what you eat,  excercise and so for.  But the reason I didn't was because of one simple, yet very important truth:  I AM VERY LAZY.  

When I was a teenager,  I used to belong to a group of gnostics.  Gnosticism was an early Christian Sect that was very influencial before Christianity became an official religion.  It was dismantled,  its books burned in an effort to unify the newly created Christian religion by the Roman empire back in the 4th century.  

Enough about history! In that group of gnostics,  I was introduced to the concept of the ego.  The ego,  as I understood it,  was the sum total of all the dirt that plage the personality of humans.  That is envy, hate, fear, lust, gluttony, greed, lazyness or sloth,  pride, anger, etc.   It's all the bad habits,  vices,  outside dependencies,  etc.  

The ego is the cause of our misery.  Our fear prevents us from moving forward in life.  Hate keeps us from giving importance to the idea of being right in our minds, rather than being at peace with our loved ones or fellow human beings.  Lazyness is what keeps us from experiencing abudance.  Lazyness is the opposite of being dilligent, of being focused, having goals and working on them. 

I realize I am EXTREMELY LAZY.  Yes.  I realize I don't move.  And this is part of not being dilligent.  This is why I tell you this:  When I worked at Burberry last year,  I met a very pretty girl named Monica.  Monica was from South East Asia, but she was born in Argentina, and therefore spoke perfect Spanish.  She is attractive and very smart. 

I became friends with her because at the time she was working on the launch of a new website of hers and learning that I was working on becoming a photographer was enough for her to welcome me to her circle of friends.  

Less than a year later,  Monica is the proud owner of a store in a very cool boutique mall called The Limelight Marketplace located on 20th Street and 7th Avenue.  Her shop, as well as her website, is called modalista.com,  check it out.  She accomplished that because she was very dilligent, and very focused on what she needed to accomplished.  Monica is proof that we can indeed attain anything we want and that our limits are self-imposed.  

It is almost 2am.  I came home about 8, watched the Oscars,  cleaned the kitchen,  drank some wine,  and ate some pasta.  I was planning on listing stuff on ebay, reading, going to the gym, etc.  I didn't everything I wanted to do.  Time is very limited and we need to start using it wisely.  Starting tomorrow at 7am.  Hans is going to hit the gym for ONE HOUR.  YES.  ONE HOUR.  and this will become my new routine.  I have to do it.  And I will.  

thanks for reading. 

Saturday, February 26, 2011

(6-365) Inspiration

I have to say,  writing a blog every day is kind of nice.

At Saks today, I had lunch with my co-worker Luis, Adrianne, Delia, and Johanna.  Luis is from Colombia,  he is about 40, short, bold,  gay, very friendly.  Adrianne is 25, tall, 5,10, blond, blue eyes, very pleasant and very friendly.  Johanna is about 25, she is from Ecuador, very nice, and Delia, she is from Portugal,  48, thin, with a very nice personality.    We were talking about how evil Saks was by hiring all those people.  Everyone was very happy that I wrote a simple letter to the Union president explaining him our situation and our frustration that nothing was being done about it.  My co-workers were shocked to see how fast the union responded to my email.  Our president already set up two important meetings to try to solve the situation so we can make more money.

This was very inspiring.   For many months,  what our department did was to adopt a victim's mentality by  kicking, screaming and complain one another  about our frustrations.  But as soon as I wrote that letter, things began to happen.

In addition,   we also talked about inspiration.    Luis had mentioned that how he liked to help the homeless by working in soup kitchens, and feeding the poor.  We had a minor argument because  I told him that the best way to help the poor was not to do any of that, but find a way to inspire them to get help themselves. I told Luis I wasn't trying to criticize him or make a point that what he was doing was not valuable,  but that when we feed people,  we are not doing nothing.  He couldn't help but to reluctantly agree with me.

If you feed the poor,  they will be hungry the next day.  If you teach them how to get food for themselves, that's a different ball game.  Sort of like saying  welfare checks don't help people, schools do.

Everybody assumes that when the poor are fed, a good is being done.  But the opposite is true.  Assumption is a terrible thing.  We all do it.   I have the terrible habit of assuming that people understand me even though I am not perfectly clear with them.  Like, when you expect people close to you know that you love them, even though you don't call them, text them, or visit them.  The whole day passed and I didn't call my mom, my father, my sister, my daughter, my brothers, my friends, etc.  The whole day just flew by and I didn't have any sort of contact with anyone,  nobody.  Has this happened to you?

I once heard that animals don't know that they are mortal beings.  We humans know that we die,  but behave as though we had all the time in the world.  We think we are never going to die; at least we like to think so.  We are always procrastinating.

Inspiration is better than motivation.  To be motivated,  we need an outside stimuli.  Inspiration comes from within.

Friday, February 25, 2011

(5-365) Mind Power

Breaking a thinking habit requires a lot of effort.

I was reading the other day about a guy that was frustated because his prayers and positive-thinking practices were not producing any results.   He asked Joseph Murphy about it and after a long conversation,  Joseph told the man that the reason his prayers were not being responded 
was because the man spent most of his time thinking and feeling bad about all the things that were
bothering him.  Joseph went on to say that when a person presents the mind with two conflicting ideas,
the mind tends to favor the dominant one, which made sense.   I identified with this man and shared in his frustration, and this is what I am going to talk about.  

How little we know ourselves!  The mind is such a powerful force.  If right now I don't have the job that I want, photography gigs are not pouring in, girls are no-where to be seen, money... just not coming in,  then there must be something extremely wrong with the way I am thinking things.  

Sometimes the feeling of "I am not good enough" subconsciously prevents us from getting out there and enjoying ourselves.  In myself,  it has to do a lot with women.   I have loved beautiful women all my life.  I am attracted to them like bees are attracted to honey, and I wish I could have  100 for myself.      Don't get me wrong.  I was married for 8 years and I am a father of  a teenage daughter.  I had dated lots of girls, but I rarely held a lot of serious relationships.  When I meet someone new and we go on a date,
I get nervious, and if I see that we are going have sex, I get reeally nervious, a mess.   Can it be that the reason I am attracted to intelligent, beautiful women is trying to prove myself  and the rest of the world that I am just just a regular, cool guy and not the wreck, not-good enough and miserable dude that I feel I am inside?  

The anxiety, the fear, the lack of serious relationships, the absense of women outside making lines in my building fighting to get in;  all subconcious tricks of giving importance  to some and none to others is a an indication of how I really see myself;  my own self value.  Just like our relationship with others is a reflection of how we treat ourselves; our relationship with ourselves is a reflection of how we treat others...  Everything is connected.  

How about jobs?  My marital problems and separation made me very depressed and I lost focus.  I lost my position at Bergdorf's with the collapse of the economy back in January of 2009.  10 months later,  while I was looking for employment,  I accepted to work for Burberry where i was making half of what I made in Bergdorf Goodman.  Then, when I saw I needed to move on, I started looking for jobs and a famous Boutique called Jeffreys hired me to work for them.  I was going to make around 90k, it was very good comparing to what I was making at Burberry.  But then, at the same time,  Saks wanted me to work for the contemporary shoe salon on the fifth floor.  I was very confused and asked around.    Everyone told me Saks was the best choice.  My gut feeling told me to stay at Jeffreys,  but I didn't listen.  And today, 5 months later,  I can only wish I had the power to turn back time.  

The problem with Saks,  is that for some reason,  the management decided to hire an additional 10 people and now no-one is making enough to make ends meet.  It's a big mess.  My question is:  if the mind has the power to make things happen,  was it my mind that created the horrible conditions at my department at Saks,  or did it bring me there because it was the only place where my current patterns of thoughts regarding what I think about what my own value is, what I think I deserve as my working conditions,  the boss,  the company,  etc?  I had applied to other companies and they have passed me even though  I had excellent qualifications.    The stuff that really strikes me is this: Saks has two shoe department.  One very similiar to the one at Bergdorfs, and the one I am at right now.  The fact that they didn't consider me for the more high-end  one is evidence that of my poor mentality.  

I also work photography as a freelancer.  I have done a lot of family location shoots,  headshots, portraits,  product, etc.   and I am also a trading assistant at eBay.  I am one of those people that people hire to sell their stuff, but I am not working hard enough, and I am not at the leven in my photography business where I think I should be.  It's frustrating!!!!!

"The way we do things is a direct result of the way we think about things"  All I am doing right now is making a connection regarding my thoughts, and my experience in living.   There is a flip side in all this negative stuff; by realizing how much it has affected me,  it makes more aware of its power in shaping my destiny.  You see,  knowing is not the same as believing.  knowing is a powerful conviction, whereas belief is just a thing of the mind and not of the heart.  


Thanks for reading.  

Thursday, February 24, 2011

(4-365) Thinking

My main focus so far has been understanding my relationship with money. 
The masters of the past and present say that the way we do things is
the direct result of the way we think about things.  Therefore, understanding
my patterns of thoughts on this subject is of paramount importance. 

I cannot achieve greatness if i continue to remain ignorant of how I
think about things.  It is of supreme importance that I practice the art
of thinking what would give me the results I seek. 

For this project to succeed,  I have to work on my subconscious mind
which is where all the driving-force thoughts are hidden. 

The subconscious mind has the power to transform any thought from the immaterial into solid form.
There,  thoughts really become things.   It is the magical realm where we exercise
our creative muscles by consciously making out of thin air, whatever we decide to make.

Yesterday I spoke about gratitude, and how important it was.  I have to admit,   I have been thinking about gratitude for quite a long time now,  and I thought I was doing enough, until I practiced it today.

This morning I started thinking about my mom.  I concentrated my mind on thinking about all of her positive qualities.  I started thinking about how nice she is... how generous.  I remembered her being caring,  loving, and humble.  How much she loved every one of us.  How much she had suffered on this earth; she met my father at 13, married at 14, and had her first child at 15.  Now, that I have a daughter of 13, I can't imagine how devastating it would be for me if my 13 year-old daughter announced that at 14 she would walk down the aisle.  I can only think of one thing to do to the guy, and yes, think Dexter, the friendly killer.  

But seriously,  my mom has been magnificent woman.  While thinking of her in that sense, I suddenly  became sad for not giving her the importance she rightfully deserved.  I don't want to be one of those people that are forced to remember the good only when the loved one is six feet under.   I also thought of my sisters,  my father,  and I have to say, it was a very powerful commute.

I think that I now understand how this law of attraction thing works.  How powerful our thoughts and the things we say through our mouths affect every level of our lives.  It is wonderful.

But there are other aspects of this conscious thinking practice I want to mention.  We also have to take into account,  the seven deadly sins, as mentioned in the religious texts, and those are:  anger, sloth, hate, gluttony, lust, greed,  envy,  and pride.  These are the root of all the suffering in the world.  It takes a lifetime of knowing ourselves to really understand and get rid of, these malignant patterns of thoughts.

Practice the art of conscious thinking.  Deeply feel the love within your heart and think and imagine yourself as the person you want to become.  Spread love everywhere you go.  Let's do that.  Let's stop sleeping (not being aware)!  Let's wake up!

Thanks for reading.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

(3-365) Word Power

Today was not a particularly exciting day for me.  I thought I was going to get a lot of things done since I didn't go to work.  But I did lots of things I needed to do anyhow.  Let's begin...

This day I want to talk about WORD POWER.    I am now reading the book written by Joseph Murphy Think Yourself Rich and one thing came into focus: he gives a lot of emphasis on writing custom-made prayers to meditate, read and speak out loud.  Every case sceniario is followed by a prayer which was read outloud by the people on a daily basis.

I don't want to sound as if I am writing an article about the power of the tongue, nor I want to preach about such things.  This blog is about applying the teachings of the law of attraction on my life, not to preach or tell everyone how they ought to live their lives, so forgive me I sound like I am going to talk about such things,  I am not.

I started writing a prayer regarding  money.  I continued to meditate regarding my relationship with money this morning and realized I was conflict; in my childhood, I decided that coming from a family of means was bad because people would reject me for not being poor like they were; and in the other way,  not having money was also bad because that meant that you were worthless, pretty much like everyone thinks.  But in my conflict,  It was enough just to pretend I had money,  while deep inside,  I could continue to feel that having lots of money was, for a lack of a better word,  EVIL.


So I started praying in this way:

MONEY IS LIBERATING. MONEY IS POWER.  WITH MONEY, I CAN HELP MY FAMILY AND MYSELF MEET ALL OF OUR NEEDS WHEN THEY ARRIVE.  I ALWAYS HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH.  I NOW LIVE A LIFE OF ABUDANCE BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN A GOD OF ABUNDANCE.  I NOW WALK IN THE LIGHT THAT ALL GOOD IS MINE.  GOD PROSPERS ME ALWAYS, AND ALL MY NEEDS ARE MET AT EVERY MOMENT OF TIME AND AT EVERY POINT OF SPACE.  MONEY IS DIVINE SUBSTANCE, AND THEREFORE IT IS DIVINE IN NATURE.  I CLAIM IT AS MY BIRTH RIGHT.  I REJOICE THAT THIS IS SO.  

We don't realize it but it has been written for thousands of years that the stuff we utter with our mouths have tremendous power.    When we read the bible,  we learn that God made the earth by speaking.    "And God said...."    When Jesus performed his miracles,  he would speak them outloud,  "Lazarus,  raise"  something like that.  I don't want to get carried away by speaking about this, but one thing I noticed was the lack of practice in speaking positive things about money.  I felt as if I was lying.  A little odd, I would say, but it made me realize how much I can accomplish in my life just by using the power of the verb.


I will tell you how it turns out.   Thanks for reading.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

(2-365) Gratitude

According to the law of attraction,  we are the masters of our own fate.  Everything that happens to us is brought fourth by our thoughts.  It also says that our thoughts and our feelings create our lives.

There are many authors and speakers from  the past  as well as from the present that have talked about the laws of attraction and other laws of the universe in order that we can take control of our lives and lead better, and more enriching lives.  There is a multiplicity of knowledge out there and a wisdom of limitless proportions.  

If you are not familiar with the law of attraction, or the philosophical teachings of the ages,  read the teachings of King Salomon, Jesus Christ,  Joseph Murphy, Wallace D. Wattles, Napoleon Hill,  Lin Yutang, Anthony Robbins, Dale Carnergie, and Buddha,  to name a few.  This blog is about applying the teachings of these masters into my life in order to prove to myself and the world that each and everyone of us have the power to transform not only our lives,  but the lives of those connected to us as well.  

In the course of this project,  I will work with the teachings of Joseph Murphy, Jesus Christ,  Wallace D. Wattles, and Napoleon Hill.  Wallace D. Wattles wrote his immortal book "the science of getting rich." one year before his death in 1910.  Joseph Murphy wrote in 1972  Miracle Power of Infinite Riches,  now renamed Think Yourself Rich (2001),  and Napoleon Hill wrote a library of  16 books called The Law of Success (1931),  and  Think and Grow Rich in 1937.

Yesterday I introduced myself and laid out my 365 days plan to transform my life and the dreams and goals that I would work on.  I wrote about my troubled past, and my present problems,  the sadness, frustrations, failures, etc; my justification for doing what I have done.   

I thought a lot about what I wrote yesterday.  I even went to bed really late at night thinking about those things.  And today as well.  And this is what I thought:  There was a sense of lack in my life, and naturally I thought of all the things that were missing and the number of problems that I needed to solve, as if saying that if I accomplished  and had all those things I would not be writing this blog.  It is a natural way of thinking, but a very flawed one.  

Nothing of what you have in your life gives you happiness.  People with perfect relationships,  all the money in the world,  all the friends in the world,  beautiful children,  everything perfect, have killed themselves.   What then bring you happiness?  Gratitude.  I don't need to have everything that I mentioned that I wanted to have to be happy.  I can be grateful right now. 

If everything I do is to focus in my misery and the flawed belief that when I end my money problems or find the perfect woman I'll be happy,  then the center of my happiness and fulfilment will forever lie outside my sphere of influence.  What I can start doing right now is to give thanks for what I have.  To focus on what I have and to start having faith in God.  

Joseph Murphy and Wallace D. Wattles both teach us that adopting the habit of gratitude has a very powerful effect.  The first benefit is a shift in our focus from what we lack to what we have.    The second benefit is a belief in a Deity, God,  or the supreme being.  To believe in God is to belief in his laws and the divine order things.  It is for this reason that Wallace D. Wattles says in his book:  "You cannot exercise much power without gratitude,  for it is gratitude, that keeps you connected with power" (God).

The third benefit is that the feeling of gratitude,  the feeling of having, the feeling of wealth, tends to produce more wealth, more things, more blessings,  etc.  The feeling of lack,  not believing in God,  believing only in chance,  gives us the feeling of powerlessness.   Instead of feeling the presence of God within us,  we feel empty and lonely.  

My challenge (this blog is about me!)  is to start feeling grateful for what I have, and begin a routine of  prayer and affirming the good in everything.    I will show you how I am going to start doing this in the coming days.  

Today I thought about  my relationship with money. I asked myself why I am in such a deep hole.  With all the knowledge and with all the books that I've read.  I couldn't understand why I didn't prevent myself from falling into debt.   

I think this pattern of thinking (Your actions are the product your thoughts) comes from my childhood years.  See,  when I was born my family was very rich.  My father had three very successful businesses.  My mother managed one of them, and we were never in want (except for me).  At about 7 years old, when I started having friends and playing with other kids,  my new friends always reminded me that my father had lots of money,  and that I was rich.  They made sure I understood I wasn't one of them; I couldn't belong or fit in.  This made me very sad.  I would ask my mother for an explanation.  I would ask her "mom,  my friends say that we are rich?"  My mom would laugh and say "no, tell them we are not rich,  but half-rich. 

Two of the businesses that my father had were clothing stores.  My father was very stingy in giving me new clothes.  (He did that because, to him,  making your kids getting used to receiving everything that they asked for was  bad parenting (he later revealed)),  I rarely dressed very well,  and everyone that knew me  could not understand why the son of a rich merchand owner dressed like homeless kid.   I did not know what to say.  I felt I never quite belonged.  The reasons I came up with were these:

1-My family had money (belonging).
2-I didn't have enough (There is something wrong with me,  I was not good enough).
3-I had the worst father (Fatherless, close to feeling homeless).

I used to think If I had a better father,  I would have been happier.  I came to believe that I was a victim of my parent's upbringing.    I tried so hard to be good.  Even when my parents got a divorce and my mother moved to a different town I decided to stay living with my father.  That only lasted for one year.  Later I  moved with my mom and visited my father (without him asking me to) once a month.  I always wished my father was more responsible,  more loving,  more generous, but he wasn't.  Even now I think that if it wasn't for him,  I would have had a better life.  I resented him and my mother.  The feeling of "not being good enough" was attributed to my upbringing.  Not being good enough, I think, is a feeling of wanting to express oneself in a certain way, and not knowing how.  

I did mentioned that I was going to forgive my parents and be more responsible for my happiness,  but after telling you this story regarding how my relationship with money started, can you now make a connection of what what I thought about money back then and how I don't have it right now?

What is your story?

People are not victims of their pasts,  but their own interpretations.  

My challenge in the coming days is to forgive my parents ,  myself,  and change my attitude and beliefs regarding that little thing called MONEY.



Thanks for reading.